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Good Saturday Morn, MyBloggerstown:
      Haven't done this in awhile so its time once again for a scraping of news, fresh from the ol' Buggscope:
Item: General Powell Might Endorse Obama. Rampant speculation that Gen. Colin Powell (ret.) former Sec. of State in Dubya's first term, will endorse Sen. Barack Obama(That One-Illinois)for president. Scheduled to appear on NBC's Sunday news show "Meet the Press" Gen. Powell, (according to such journalistic lights as the Wall Street Journal, Newsweek, The Washington Post etc.) is expected to announce that he's in the tank for Bro' man. This will be quite the coup for the Obama campaign and give him some much needed foriegn policy and national security cred. Now I personally admire Gen. Powell greatly. He was and is a true American hero. But I can't help but harken back to that old joke that made the rounds in the first Dubya Administration. "No wonder the country is in such a mess. We are being governed by a Bush, a Dick, and a Colin." Har har har.
Item: D.C. Area School Bans Tag Playing. In a new level of nanny state ridiculousness, the Kent Gardens Elementary School in McLean Va, a Washington suburb(and a shee-shee- poo -poo one from the sound of it) has banned the playing of tag during recess. According to principal Robyn Hooker(no, I'm NOT making that up) running, dodging and yelling "yer it" has become "a game of intense agression." Tag has now gone the way of other "dangerous, life threatening" sports such as dodgeball and tug of war. Obviously, some idiot parent threatened litigation because their precious snowflake got a scratch. With all the flap about childhood obesity it makes no sense to ban games that let kids be normal, active kids. These kinds of activities should be encouraged rather than banning so called "junk" food and letting the little cretins sit around on their fat butts all day.
Item: Woman Sez She's Elvis's Half Sister And That He is Indeed Alive. Whackjob Eliza A. Presley(who changed her name legally from Alice Elizabeth Tiffin) has petitioned a probate judge to re-open the estate of the late Vernon E. Presley, The King's father claiming she is the result of an illicit affair between her mother and Mr. Presley and that Elvis is alive and living under the psuedonym "Jesse Presley". (note for all you non-Elvis fans, Jesse was the name of Elvis's twin brother who died at birth) She offers as DNA evidence an envelope licked and mailed to her by the aformentioned Jesse as proof of her claim. Inexplicably, the judge has agreed to explore this claim even though Ms. Presley's mother denies ever having had an affair with Vernon, Elvis, Elvis's ghost, or any other member of the Presely clan. "I would be rich if there was a Presely connection," stated Florence Clark, Ms. Presely's mother. "Would any girl walk away from that if they'd had a child by Vernon or Elvis?" She has a point there. I for one want to see what this "Jesse" person looks like. This is just another nutbar grave picker wanting their 15 minutes of fame. There should be some legal reprecussions for taking up valuable court time and being a douche bag in general.
Item: Nelson Mandella On Terrorist List. Nelson Mandella, former president of South Africa and and Nobel Peace Prize winner, is on the U.S. Gub'ment's Terroist Watch list and needs special permission to visit America. I guess espousing such dangerous concepts as majority rule, being anti-apartied and being an iconic international symbol of freedom makes one too risky to our national security. Meanwhile, drug dealers from Mexico, Columbia and other places, those stalwart, law abiding citizens who would never cause America any grief, cross the border with impunity. Sec. of State Condoleezza Rice(Butt Kisser-D.C.) calls the situation with Mr. Mandella an "embarrasment" and claims she's working on the problem. Yeah, Condi, I'm embarrased too.
Item: New Jersey Ponders "Sin Tax" On Fast Food. Well now doesn't this just make you want to go hang yourself? Now they are concidering taxing yer Big Mac and yer Wendy's cheeseburger. This is an outrage, I tell you. First cigarettes, then alcohol and now this. What's next? Taxing sex? An excise tax every time you bust a nut? What if the guy is a dud and you have to fake it? Do you get a refund? This is going beyond the pail, ladies and germs. The Health Police are going way too far. I, and every other adult with a pulse, knows that the above mentioned items are bad for you. If you want to indulge anyway, its your own fault. Its called Personal Responsibility.
Item: Chicago Bans Plastic Bags Used To Package Drugs. In yet another example of asinine laws, Chicago aldermen have passed an ordinance against small plastic baggies as they are the packaging of choice for drugs such as crack and heroin. This will certainly end the drug trade as we know it. Good Lord. How about banning drug dealers? How about strengthening the borders to keep drugs from getting into the country in the first friggin' place? I guess now I ought to find an alternative for carrying my spare change, paper clips, cosmetics, and Preparation H suppositories if I visit the Windy City anytime soon. I swear, I think sometimes they give people IQ tests and whoever fails gets to be an elected official.
Have a good weekend, everyone.
reguards
yer callin' em like I sees 'em pal
bugg
