IF
YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN "THE WOMEN"--THE ORIGINAL WITH JOAN CRAWFORD
PLAYING CRYSTAL, NOT THE HORRIBLE REMAKE--PUT IT ON YOUR MUST SEE LIST! I SAW IT AGAIN RECENTLY ON TCM AND ONCE AGAIN CRACKED UP AT THE LADIES HAVING AT EACH OTHER!



from IMDB.com--a site for everything and anything you want to know about movies!


Memorable Quotes from
The Women (1939)
Nancy Blake: You're so resourceful, darling, I ought to go to you for plots.
Sylvia Fowler: You ought to go to someone.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Crystal Allen: He almost stood me up for his wife.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nancy Blake: [to Countess DeLave] Chin up.
Miriam Aarons: Right, both of them.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Regarding men]
Maggie: You can't trust none of 'em no further than I can kick this lemon pie.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sylvia Fowler: What are you, pet?
Nancy Blake: What nature abhors. I am an old maid, a frozen asset.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Peggy Day: I wish I could make a little money writing the way you do.
Nancy Blake: If you wrote the way I do, that's just what you'd make.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mrs. Moorehead:
Well, cheer up, Mary; living alone has its compensations. Heaven knows
it's marvelous being able to spread out in bed like a swastika.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Countess DeLave: Get me a bromide - and put some gin in it.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Crystal Allen: Thanks for the tip. But when anything I wear doesn't please Stephen, I take it off.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sylvia
Fowler: Oh, you remember the awful things they said about
what's-her-name before she jumped out the window? There. You see? I
can't even remember her name so who cares?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Crystal Allen: There is a name for you, ladies, but it isn't used in high society... outside of a kennel.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mary Haines: I think I got what Mrs. Fowler's friends come in for.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Olga: She's got those eyes that run up and down a man like a searchlight.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Crystal Allen: If you throw a lambchop into a hot oven, what's gonna keep it from gettin' done?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sylvia Fowler: You simply must see my hairdresser, I DETEST whoever does yours.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sylvia Fowler: Mary Haines, don't you have any pride?
Mary Haines: No pride at all. That's a luxury a woman in love can't afford.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Maggie:
The first man who can explain how he can be in love with his wife - and
another woman - is gonna win that prize they're always giving out in
Sweden.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Miriam Aarons: A woman's compromised the day she's born.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mary Haines: I've had two years to grow claws mother. Jungle red.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Crystal Allen: I'm having him dine at my place. It's about time he found out I was a home girl.
Pat: A home girl? Get her? Why don't you borrow the quintuplets for the evening?
Crystal Allen: Because I'm all the baby he wants, pet.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Miriam Aarons:
You should have licked that girl where she licked you; in his arms.
It's where you win in the first round and if I know men, it's still
Custer's Last Stand.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mrs.
Spencer's friend: [gasp] Good grief! I hate to tell you, dear, but your
skin makes the Rocky Mountains look like chiffon velvet!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nancy Blake: [looking at Sylvia Fowler's blouse] Great guns. What are you made up for? The Seeing Eye?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Edith Potter: When do you go to Africa to shoot, dear?
Nancy Blake: As soon as my book is out.
Sylvia Fowler: I don't blame you. I'd rather face a tiger any day than the sort of things the critics said about your last book.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Edith Potter: What are you going to write next, Nancy? Animal stories?
Nancy Blake: [looking at Sylvia Fowler] I wouldn't have to go to Africa for that.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sylvia Fowler: I'd die before I hurt Edith.
Nancy Blake: [offering Sylvia a tray of nuts] Nuts.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Peggy Day: He beats you. Lucy, how terrible.
Lucy: Ain't it. When you think of the lot of women on this ranch who need a beatin' more than I do.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sylvia Fowler: Is that anyway to talk to me after all I've done for you?
Crystal Allen: Done what?
Sylvia Fowler: You didn't know a soul when you married Steven. After all, it wasn't easy to put you over.
Crystal Allen: And who says you put me over.
Sylvia Fowler: I've gotten you into some of our very best homes.
Crystal Allen: Yes, with some of their very best insults.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Woman
at party: So he says 'I gotta go home on Sunday.' So I says 'Why do you
got to?' So he says 'they always expect me home on Easter Sunday.' So I
say, 'what do they expect you to do? Lay an egg?'"


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Miriam Aarons: Any ladle's sweet that dishes out some gravy.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mary Haines: I'll be doing the cooking so you know what he'll get.
Little Mary Haines: I know - indigestion.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Countess DeLave: Oh, l'amour, l'amour, how it can let you down. Hmm. How it can pick you up again.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Miriam Aarons: You're passing up a swell chance, honey. Where I spit no grass grows ever.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lucy: Them big, strong, red-headed men... they're fierce!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Crystal Allen: Say, listen, I've worked too hard to land this meal ticket to make any false moves now.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sylvia Fowler: Why you sly little fox, you.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Countess DeLave: Oh, poor creatures. They've lost their equilibrium because they've lost their faith in love. Oh l'amour, l'amour.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Maggie: Now don't that sound just like a husband?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Edith Potter: Oh, she can't help it. It's just her tough luck that she wasn't born deaf and dumb.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mrs. Moorehead: Besides, there's nothing like a good dose of being left alone to make a man appreciate his wife.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Miriam Aarons: Listen, sister, when are you going to get wise to yourself?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sylvia Fowler: Did you get her innuendo?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mrs. Moorehead: I'm an old woman, my dear. I know my sex.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Corset model: Our new one-piece lace foundation garment. Zips up the back and no bone.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Crystal Allen: You noble wives and mothers bore the brains out of me. And I bet you bore your husbands, too.
Mary Haines: You are a hard one.
Crystal Allen: I can be soft on the right occasion.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sylvia Fowler: Our friend, Mrs. Stephen Haines, simply dotes on this... Her husband picked it out for her... Perhaps you waited on him?
Crystal Allen: I'm afraid I don't remember. You see, there are so many men who come in here.
Sylvia Fowler: Awfully good looking... I'm sure you wouldn't overlook him.
Crystal Allen: I'm sorry, but when one's mind is on one's own business...
Sylvia Fowler: Of course... And as you say, you have so many men.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tough girl: I still say I'm gonna pull a gun on that guy. Just like I did on Judge McClure.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Exercise instructress: [instructing Mrs. Fowler in her exercises] Up, over. Up, down. Up, stretch! Up together.
Sylvia Fowler: No more up. This is getting me down.
Exercise instructress: Then rest a moment and relax your diaphram muscles.
[under her breath]
Exercise instructress: If you can.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sylvia Fowler: Mrs. Haines never listens to any of her friends...
Exercise instructress: [under her breath] How does she avoid it?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Exercise instructress: Arms flat. Crawl slowly up the wall...
Sylvia Fowler: The way you say that makes me feel like vermin.
Exercise instructress: That shouldn't be much effort. I mean, crawling up the wall.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Crystal Allen: [on the telephone] Oh no, Steven, I couldn't think of your disarranging your evening. I'll have another birthday next year.
Pat: You'll have another one next week!
Crystal Allen: [covering the mouthpiece] Look, so help me, I'm gonna slug you!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Exercise instructress: Let's begin with posture. A lady always enters a room erect.
Sylvia Fowler: Most of my friends exit horizontally.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Exercise instructress: Mrs. Fowler you've hardly moved a muscle.
Sylvia Fowler: Whose carcass is this, yours or mine?
Exercise instructress: It's yours, but I'm paid to exercise it.
Sylvia Fowler: You sound like a horse trainer.
Exercise instructress: No, Mrs. Fowler, but you're getting warm.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mrs. Spencer's friend: Ooh, look at Sidney's miniatures.
Mrs. Spencer: Hmmm. Sure sign of a petty mind!
Receptionist: They've been waiting half and hour, Mrs. Spencer. Would you mind seeing the art exhibit later?
Mrs. Spencer: Alright.
[to her friend]
Mrs. Spencer: Art exhibit my foot!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Saleswoman: That's all they want from us, the rats!
Corset model: [air-headily] Well, what else have we got to give?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nurse: One minute more, Mrs. Miller and you can breathe again.
Young girl: [barging in] Oh, I'm sorry. I'm looking for grandma.
[she wanders into the next room]
Young girl: Grandma isn't in there...
First Mudbath Woman: Well, she isn't in here... Oh! This tub has worms in it! I know it has worms! I can feel them!
Girl in a bath: They're probably more afraid of you than you are of them.
Young girl: Well, what's the matter with a little worm? Why, at Harvard and Yale they eat them...


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lulu: Will I find anything in that ice box of yours?
Pat: Yeah, cobwebs and a bottle of gin.