“Snow
White and the Huntsman” is, approximately, the 37th domestic, foreign,
animated, including 2 porn, accumulated films using the fairy tale,
“Snow White and the 7 Dwarfs” as the basis of its story. Just 2 months
ago there was a campy version starring Julia Roberts in “Mirror,
“Mirror” and there is an ongoing ABC-TV series called “Once Upon A Time”
where Snow White plays a major role. It is time to retire the young
lady for a few decades.

The
main problem with “Snow White and the Huntsman” is too much and too
many of everything. Almost every scene has special effects and there are
now 8 dwarfs, who are digitally miniaturized  actors like Bob Hoskins,
which leads one to think there aren’t any dwarf actors out of work or
the director was just showing off. Snow White (Kristen Stewart) is not
only involved in a triangle with the Huntsman (Chris Hemsworth) and
William (Sam Claflin) but she turns into Joan of Arc whose head to toe
armor doesn’t make a sound when she walks, rides horseback or runs.
Whereas the evil queen, Julia Roberts, wore a white feathered gown the
evil queen (Charlize Theron) wears a real bat gown. The film just stops
short of giving the queen fangs though she does drink blood.

There
is a scene in fairyland, don’t ask, where I thought all the animals,
and there are plenty, were going to burst out into song though these
dwarfs weren’t going to sing “Heigh Ho, It’s Off To Work We Go” let
alone be cute. The queen’s mirror isn’t just a mirror but melting metal
and let’s not forget the beast that seems to have wandered in from some
sci-fi film. The film runs for over 2 hours because we have to go into
the reasons the Queen and the Huntsman are psychologically the way they
are along with one too many flaming balls, arrows, huts and sections of
the floor.

With
the too many. too much, goes all the very hammy acting, the queen’s
always changing outfits and the make up for days. This is a film that
throws everything in the screenplay, written by Evan Daugherty, John Lee
Hancock and Hossein Amini taken from all the movies they have seen with
the director adding special effects whether needed or not. Rupert
Sanders, the director, doesn’t seem at all interested in the story but
in getting the audience to wonder how things were done. There are also a
few very amateurish scenes that a professional would have edited in the
cutting process such as the water scene where drops of water are seen
on the lens.

As
far as the two female leads go I am not a fan of Kristen Stewart who
always seems to fade into the scenery and has, maybe, two expressions.
In her ‘Joan of Arc’ scene she stumbles badly and  (Hi “Twilight”) it is
hard to why two men would be after her.

I
am a huge fan of Charlize Theron and believe in “Monster” she gave one
of the greatest performances by an actress on film and wish she would go
back to independent films. Hope she, and Julia Roberts, have gotten the
fairy tale queen out of their system.

Rent
Disney’s “Snow White and the & Dwarfs” and sing along with “Whistle
While You Work” and “Someday My Prince Will Come” instead of seeing
“Snow White and The Huntsman”.