(I posted this 2 years ago
during the celebration of Gay Pride in June--I thought it was time to
repeat it--and I hope some gay person will read it and do something
positive whether it is to come out, to extend a hand to another gay
person, stand up to a homophobe, a bigot, anyone who talks negative
about gays, talk to nongays about Equal, not special, Rights or possibly
make a nongay person more than just have a gay friend but an activist
for gays to help them get equality.)
I know
Peter will disagree with me on this but I define myself as a gay man
mainly due to my sexual orientation. I look at everything through a gay
sensibility. Yes, I am a writer--a gay writer--a Jew--a gay Jew--a
man--a gay man--a gay reader, theatre goer, movie goer, friend, nature
lover, etc.

I came out when I was 12 and
have been very comfortable with that aspect of my life though I had
problems with other parts of my life.

No, I don't wear a sign
around my neck saying "I am gay" but I will not deny it nor will I be
quiet about it when a nongay person 'shoves their sexuality in my
face'--you are going to talk about your kids, your spouse or the butt or
breasts on that woman I will tell you who I am and who I date and the
butt and package on the guy I went out with.

I will not stand
idly, quietly by, when an anti-gay joke is told or rude comments are
made regarding gay people.

When I am told someone is gay
friendly I will ask if they voted against the gay marriage amendment,
for ENDA and for the hate crime bill--do they stand up for their gay
co-worker, the gay person living next door, etc., or do they just say,
"I have gay friends,"?

I will not respect or forgive someone who
puts gays down, say their religion is against it or make up despicable
acts that they say gays get involved in, assuming all gays do the same
thing, even if they apologize and say sweet things to me. Nor will I
respect a gay person who kowtows to these bigots in order to not make
waves or to make peace because they are demeaning themselves when they
ignore how these people really feel.

In the 60s to the 90s I was a
gay activist--I marched, signed petitions, joined ACT UP, got involved
with the AIDS crisis and though I gave that up in the new century I have
spent the last 25+ years as an AIDS buddy to dying teenagers .

I
do get annoyed when I see younger gays who benefit from the thousands
who put themselves on the front line so they could have life a little
easier and today don't get out there to make it easier for the future
generations but, then there have always been those who put the bar, a
trick, sex or whatever before activism.

People have been killed,
kicked out of their jobs, thrown out of their apartments, lost all they
had built with a lover because too many gays have remained quiet.

I am proud of who I am and
what I have done for my brothers and sisters--I had people mentor and
help and fight for me along the way and I have given back to the cause
as my way of saying Thank You--all I ask of the younger gays today is to
do the same--don't be ashamed of who you are and don't stay quiet when
you see an injustice done to another gay person because you may lose a
friend, a job, a promotion or some other reason that may give you less
'things' but can help them not be harmed.

Are you/would you
really be happy being 'safe'? If so don't you owe the many people who
helped make your world safe? Make it safe for the teens coming along
now, still being bullied, still thinking they are the only ones, who
feel isolated, alone and afraid.

Okay, I won't tell you what to
do--only you can decide that but take some time to see what you have
today and what you can give others.

Trust me, I am not holier
than you, I have made mistakes, did not do things for selfish reasons
BUT I have never denied who I am to anyone.