I already knew who I was in my teen years!



I know Peter will disagree with me on this but I define myself as a gay man mainly due to my sexual orientation. I look at everything through a gay sensibility. Yes, I am a writer--a gay writer--a Jew--a gay Jew--a man--a gay man--a gay reader, theatre goer, movie goer, friend, nature lover, etc.

I came out when I was 12 and have been very comfortable with that aspect of my life though I had problems with other parts of my life.

No, I don't wear a sign around my neck saying "I am gay" but I will not deny it nor will I be quiet about it when a nongay person 'shoves their sexuality in my face'--you are going to talk about your kids, your spouse or the butt or breasts on that woman I will tell you who I am.

I will not stand idly, quietly by when an anti-gay joke is told or rude comments are made regarding gay people.

When I am told someone is gay friendly I will ask if they voted against the gay marriage amendment, for ENDA and for the hate crime bill--do they stand up for their gay co-worker, the gay person living next door, etc., or do they just say, "I have gay friends,"?

I will not respect or forgive someone who puts gays down, say their religion is against it or make up despicable acts that they say gays get involved in even if they apologize and say sweet things to me. Nor will I respect a gay person who kowtows to these bigots in order to not make waves or to make peace because they are demeaning themselves when they ignore how these people really feel.

In the 60s to the 80s I was a gay activist--I marched, signed petitions, joined ACT UP, got involved with the AIDS crisis and though I gave that up in the 90s I have spent the last 30 years as an AIDS buddy to dying teen agers.

I do get annoyed when I see younger gays who benefit from the thousands who put themselves on the front line so they could have life a little easier and today don't get out there to make it easier for the future generations.

People have been killed, kicked out of their jobs, thrown out of their apartments, lost all they had built with a lover because too many gays have remained quiet.

I am proud of who I am and what I have done for my brothers and sisters--I had people mentor and help and fight for me along the way and I have given back to the cause as my way of saying Thank You--all I ask of the younger gays today is to do the same--don't be ashamed of who you are and don't stay quiet when you see an injustice done to another gay person because you may lose a friend, a job, a promotion or some other reason that may give you less 'things' but can help them not be harmed.

Are you/would you really be happy being 'safe'? If so don't you owe the many people who helped make your world safe? Make it safe for the teens coming along now, still being bullied, still thinking they are the only ones, who feel isolated, alone and afraid.

Okay, I won't tell you what to do--only you can decide that but take some time to see what you have today and what you can give others.

Trust me, I am not holier than you, I have made mistakes, did not do things for selfish reasons BUT I have never denied who I am to anyone.