Summary of
Life
GREAT
TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No
matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats..
2) When your Mum is mad
at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't
hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year
old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your
food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a
Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of
broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white
shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is
Grandpa's lap.
GREAT TRUTHS
THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1)
Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't
hurt.
3) Families are like fudge ... mostly sweet, with a few nuts
4)
Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground..
5)
Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is
when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
GREAT
TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1)
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional..
2) Forget the health
food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you
wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old
when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a
roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody
bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a
lousy beautician
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE
FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You
believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are
Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.
SUCCESS:
At age 4
success is . . . . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . .
having friends.
At age 17 success is . . having a driver's license.
At
age 35 success is . . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having
money.
At age 70 success is . . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75
success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not piddling
in your pants.
Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way; BUT
NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.
Have
a wonderful day with many *smiles*
Take
the time to live!!!
Life is too short.
Dance naked.
woo-hoo!