Back in the 50s and 60s gays were basically in a secret society except for witch hunts, bar and bath raids or front page headlines for Confidential magazine.

We identified each other by wearing a red tie AND a pinky ring AND tasseled loafers--had to be all three as pinky rings were worn by the Mafia, red ties by school boys and business men while preppies wore tasseled loafers.

We had a language of our own so we could talk in front of straights without their knowing what we were saying--a phrase like "A friend of Dorothy's" meant they were gay (at first it referred to The wizard Of Oz and in later years to Bea Arthur's character on The Golden Girls) and is now used on cruises to get gay passengers together.

If Jack was referred to as a 'choir boy' it meant he was gay and sexual acts were referred to as Greek active and passive or French active and passive. If you liked 'seafood' it meant you liked sailors and trade were straight guys who went with gays to get a bj. Won't even get into 'browning' and dozens of other terms.

Gay guys went to the the Metropolitan Opera House not only for opera but to get standing room tickets in the back of the house to make 'connections' and sometimes have sex while the rest 'covered' for you.

The intermissions at Broadway shows were a great place to make contacts for after the show or tally a little after the curtain went up for a 'quickie'

There was a group of mainly well to do men who lived on the East side who took turns giving dinners for 10-20 people, which in many cases featured an orgy after dessert. There was always a 'star' at each dinner, meaning a new young man in town or to the scene, who had been met the previous week. He would spend his then unheard of '15 minutes of fame' going from dinner to dinner from man to man enjoying the attention and, sometimes, gifts of all sorts.

Eventually this young man would return to his home town or disappear into the New York crowd. Once in awhile (it happened to my friend Perry) he would meet a mentor or become an older man's lover. Some relationships lasted for many years others benefited by getting an education and then going on their way.

On a personal note I was a 'star' for a couple of weeks but didn't like the East-side crowd and returned to my West-side, mainly unsophisticated, down to earth, let's get it on, no commitment group.

it was a different world, a different time, a different place until Stonewall. Was it better? Worse? In a way it was more fun--more special--being part of a secret society though i don't think many gay people would want to go back to that era.