I think coming out in
high school has to be the toughest of all and that is why suicide among
teenagers is so high. There is, of course, the bullying just because you are
different but bullying gays seems to
be more tolerated than for anything else. There are many stories of gays being beaten up AFTER the abuser
had sex with them. There is even a blogger who boasts about beating up gay guys
and I wonder if it was 'after'.

Gay teenagers face rejection from all sides
including families, friends, classmates and co-workers and bosses (which is a
future part of this series.) It seems in most cases that if a teenager does come
out in high school it is usually to a female friend which can be dangerous as
she may, innocently,  tell her boyfriend or other girls which than can lead to
problems.

In today's world, on TV,
there is a show called "Glee" with a character named Kurt who is played by a 20
year old gay man. He portrays a gay
teenager in high school and all the problems he has being gay including 2
bullies of which it was hinted that one of them was suppressing his
homosexuality. I don't know if they will follow up on that. Kurt has a father
who accepts and loves him and a stepbrother who is also a class member. Not only
is he is 'jock' but he is one of the leaders in the glee club. He has had his
clashes with Kurt but more often than not he defends him. Sadly, from what I can
see, what I have read, and what I have heard Kurt is far from being the average
gay teenager in high school who is out.

I do remember coming out to my parents but that
was downe out of spite, in anger. I know I didn't come out to anyone in school,
except a gay teacher who in later year became a character actor in movies, as I
wasn't close to anyone in school though I did have mutual, innocent, sex with a
neighbor, nor do I recall coming out to my brother. He was/is 5 years older than
me so when I was 'coming out' to myself he was on his way to college in New
Mexico and when he was home he was too busy courting his wife to be and staying
away from 'home' as much as he could. He knows I am gay but I don't recollect us
ever discussing it or his ever having problems with my niece and nephews
visiting me which could be, and has been, a problem in some families.

 
A very real aspect of gay life that a teenager or young
adult has to face is the possibilities of being not only verbally abused but
also physically attacked. It is almost impossible to pick up a paper without
reading about a gay person being attacked. It has nothing to do with how they
are built, slight or otherwise, because most times it is 2-3 cowards ganging up
on them. Sadly a gay guy has to learn at a very early age to not walk alone, to
be with friends going into, or leaving gay, bars or places, in fact anywhere
including going to and from church!
There are some  brave teenagers who come out and don't brook
any bullying from anyone. They fight to take their boyfriends (I remember a long
time ago a kid named Aaron Flick(?) being one of the first to fight for that and
won) to the prom, start support groups in their schools, wear gay pins,
t-shirts, support group efforts like 'a day of silence'. PFLAG, as I mentioned in another section are
great support to the kids and their families. Now some of the big cities have
gay centers where the teens can get together, talk, support each other but there
aren't enough of them (centers) to reach out to the smaller
communities.
To hear and see
more gays talk about their teen years there is a series called "It Will Get
Better" on YouTube that is very interesting. There is also a web site
imfromdriftwood.com that are stories from gay people all over the United
States.
By the way, to
those who are thinking of coming out don't be surprised if  they already
know--most do.
 
Though it may be hard to believe there is still a lot of
discrimination against gays in the
work place and coming out to co-workers and/or your employers could be the end of your job--will
be talking about that in Part 4.

**************************************************************

And now, just because I
enjoy it--wonder if they are nude under the flag UGH! That's a sight I wouldn't
want to see!