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Many gay
people forget that it may be equally as difficult for straight friends
and loved ones to accept their lifestyle as it is for them to live an
openly gay life. Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays
(PFLAG) was created for the purpose of helping straight individuals
understand and support the LGBT community.
The
organization was formed in 1973 by Jeanne Manford after she marched with
her gay son in New York’s Pride Day parade. During the celebration,
many gay and lesbian people ran up to Jeanne and begged her to speak to
their parents about how to support their lifestyle. As a result, Manford
formed PFLAG.
“Currently, PFLAG operates over 500 chapters
in 14 countries around the globe,” states Carole Benowitz, PFLAG Florida
State Coordinator. A far cry from the 20 members who attended the
organization’s first meeting in 1973. Benowitz currently oversees all 28
Florida chapters as well as those in Puerto Rico and Mexico.
The
tremendous growth of the organization can be partially attributed to a
“Dear Abby” advice column in 1980 which mentioned the organization.
PFLAG received over 7,000 letters as a result of the column and in 1981,
members decided to launch a national initiative. Consequently, the
first PFLAG office was established in Los Angeles under founding
President, Adele Starr.
Over the years, PFLAG’s mission has
never changed. “Our primary goal has always been to give support to LGBT
people, and to their families and friends,” Benowitz states. In
addition, the group wants to educate and enlighten an ill-informed
public and end discrimination. “One of our more recent goals is to make
schools safe for LGBT youth, who are coming out at an earlier age.”
Benowitz,
who became involved with the organization in 1991, is quick to state
that PFLAG has an open-door policy. “We are a support group and do not
charge for services or literature.” Support is available for Spanish
speaking members as well.
Despite being a large
organization, PFLAG still relies mainly on grassroots marketing for
growth. In addition to becoming involved with gay and non-gay events,
Benowitz has created her own efforts. “I am an in your face PFLAG mom. I
wear my PFLAG pin everywhere and educate everyone I come in contact
with about the group.” Benowitz is a proud parent of her son Neil, who
has been with his partner Paul for over 20 years.
Ruby-Sachs: Is Laura Bush giving us too little too late?
Laura
Bush is touring with her new memoir. Inside are all sorts of Bushy juicy
tidbits, but the interviews about the book have recently focused on her
admission that she believes gay committed couples deserve the same
legal rights as everyone. It’s incredible really, that the first lady
from an administration famous for pushing for a Consitutional amendment
banning gay marriage would come out for gay marriage.
Or maybe
it isn’t.
We have seen a numbers of conservative
politicians have come to Jesus moments after they are out of power.
Colin Powell supported the repeal of DADT after his administration fell.
John McCain’s wife came out for gay rights after the election run was
over. And now Laura Bush decides that it is safe to admit that she
disagreed with her husband when he used his Presidency to attempt to
combat the gay rights movement.
The first question is, what
does this do for them? The answer, they get the benefit of a progressive
label, even if their position isn’t particularly radical, because of
their previous conservativism. The alienation they might experience
amongst the more conservative base doesn’t matter because they are
risking nothing. Basically, they get all the credit with none of the
risk.
The second question is, what does this do for
them? Joe Solomnese from the Human Rights Campaign thinks it indicates a
shift in the hearts and minds of Americans. I think fighting for hearts
and minds, while important and valuable, has very little real value.
What if we had waited for the hearts and minds of the racist Southern
governors during the civil rights movement? We would never have made the
strides in equality that we take for granted today. The same is true
for gay rights. We don’t need Laura Bush’s heart and mind, we needed her
to stand up when her voice had some power.
It’s not
that Laura Bush should not vocalize her support for equality. She
should. But we should hold off congratulating her for seeing the light.
The gay community can turn around and say, “good thing you have your
head on straight, wish you had a backbone to go with that quick
analytical ability you are so keen to show off.”
It’s just
not sufficient to believe in equality. You have to do something about it
too.
*Credit for all the good ideas in here
goes to Jane Saks – who is among the breathing!
A
LETTER FROM A SOLDIER
May 14, 2010
President
Barack H. Obama
The White House
1600
Pennsylvania Avenue Northwest
Washington, DC 20500
Dear Mr.
President,
I am writing to you from a kitchen in the
state of Washington. The love of my life is in the other room. It has
been eight months since I saw him last and I cherish every moment we
spend together. Next week, my mid-tour leave will be over and I will
return to Iraq and finish my second deployment. I don’t know when I’ll
see my partner again.
When serving in a war zone, you learn
quite a bit about yourself and what’s important to you. I’ve had the
chance to work on a close and personal level with the people of Iraq,
and in doing so, I have realized more than ever that the freedoms we
enjoy as Americans should not be taken for granted – we must protect
them at all costs. These freedoms are essential to the very foundation
of our society. Yet so many men and women who fight for these freedoms
aren’t allotted their own. Our freedom to love and be loved by whomever
we choose. The freedom to live of a life of truth and dignity.
Recently I
was informed that the military was investigating me for violating the
“Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” law. Another service member had apparently
“outed” me. At first I felt free: I didn’t have to lie anymore. But
after that initial sense of relief, I’m left knowing just how little the
Pentagon and the United States government think of me.
Mr.
President, my unit is extremely undermanned. We’re working around the
clock in Baghdad. My commander informed me that the Army cannot afford
to lose me. I was told that they would prepare my discharge paperwork,
“stick it in a Manila envelope, and keep it in a desk — for now.”
One
moment they wanted to throw me out and the next they are hiding evidence
to keep me in.
My comrades now know that I am gay, and they
do not treat me any differently. Work runs as smoothly as ever, and
frankly the only difference I see — besides my pending job loss — is
that I am free of the burden of having to constantly watch my words and
ensure my lies are believable.
Having this out in the open
makes things a bit less stressful. But it’s also clear the Army is only
keeping me around until they are done with me. After I have served my
two deployments — and am only a year shy of separating from the military
honorably — I suspect they will kick me to the street.
It’s bad
enough that there is a law that denies tens of thousands of service
members from serving with integrity, but it’s even worse when such a law
is carried out with such inconsistency, without any warning of when it
might come down.
If my suspicions are true, my discharge will
move forward after my deployment. I am good enough to serve in war, but
not at peace? I will never be at peace until this law is repealed – and
neither will my partner. In fact, he won’t even be informed if I am
killed in action. That might be the hardest part for us both.
Mr.
President, when you took office I remember watching your inauguration
knowing that history was being made. I remember feeling like this weight
was being lifted off of my shoulders. I truly believed in you, and I
still do.
But, Mr. President, please keep your promise
to me.
Please do everything in your power to help
Congress repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” this year. Our government
called upon us to fight for our country. So many of us answered the
call; we did not delay. We were sent world’s away to defend your
freedoms. Mr. President, won’t you fight for mine?
With deep
respect,
A soldier returning to Baghdad
(The
writer is currently serving and unable to identify himself publicly.)