After having spent more than 12 years motivating, cajoling, yelling at, threatening, yes even offering my body to one as motivation (and it worked!!) for people to lose weight the words I don't ever want to hear from a fat person when they get thin are, "I will never get fat again!"

Me--before and after



The first person I helped and guided to lose over a 100 pounds was Eleanor and she swore she would never put the weight on--2 years later she did.

Then there was Mary who lost close to 200 pounds, went in for surgery to have the excess skin and flab removed plus some liposuction--got dressed in those skin tight red dresses and flaunted her new look--within a year she was dead having literally put on so much weight that her skin burst!

Oh, the one I motivated by saying that I would go to bed with him when he reached his goal weight--he did and I did (okay, so I'm not ethical) and almost the next day was putting the weight back on.

And then there was me--weighed over 300 pounds in my late 20s and when I was 31 I weighed 176 pounds (see pictures above.) Oh I was hot--I looked hot--everyone wanted me--whether I went into a gay or nongay bar I would walk out with loads of phone numbers.

I was motivated. I was in the weight reduction business. I was doing TV, radio, appearing in newspapers and magazines, going around the country talking to groups of overweight people and sometimes out of the country. No way was I ever going to regain my weight--I loved the new me too much!! Not only that I knew that fat people weren't only fat from eating but for psychological reasons so I went into therapy.



I knew that only 4-5% kept their weight for 3 years after losing it and only 2-3% kept it off for 5 years or more. I knew that obesity was like alcoholism and could only be fought one day at a time and there was NO ONE who could say they wouldn't get/be fat again.

But I forgot that in 1979 at the age of 43 when I left the weight reduction business and didn't have to stand up and be scrutinized people and within 2 years put on 20 pounds but that was okay I still looked good. I, also, forgot that if a person keeps the weight off for 5 years or more they stood a good chance of keeping it off and when I lost the love of my life I once again turned to food.(See the second set of pictures.) That was as good as an excuse as any. I no longer ever wanted to live with someone or fall in love again and fat would chase potential problems away plus I had something to blame for whatever problems I had.


By the New Year's weekend of 1999-2000 I was 50 pounds overweight and in the hospital with congestive heart failure. When I came out of the hospital I decided AGAIN that I would lose the weight and I did and I knew I would NEVER get fat again!! HA!!! Just last month I put on 11 pounds, rationalizing it away, giving myself permission to eat the sweets I wanted not needed. Knowing my body I was able to get rid of that 11 pounds and I know I won't put it back on TODAY!!

Getting the weight off is the easy part--keeping it off is murder--in weight loss confidence is NOT good--it tends to make you back slide.

I constantly hear people say they want to lose weight--sometimes I offer what knowledge I have and i can tell with a couple of weeks whether they will do it or not but that is their decision.

I know when I first met AJ two and a half years ago he had lost a lot of weight (was it 80 pounds, AJ?) He has very seldom talked about it and whether he is finding it easy or hard to keep it off but I am willing to bet (and hopefully I would lose the bet) he has had a hard time now and then with food and his weight, but I don't recall his ever saying, "I will NEVER get fat again!" Whether he knows it or not I hope he is in that 2-3% category!!

I currently weigh 186 pounds and am 5'10"--I am happy at this weight and know I can maintain it--ONE DAY AT A TIME!!

At 186.5 pounds