I guess I have a thing or two to learn from my daughter. Funny isn't it? As I mentioned in my previous post ( or I think I did) I watched my friend Tina's children for her. They got to bed way too late so getting them out of bed this morning was a bit challenging. Surprisingly, we all made it and out the door on time. Around the corner I go, and promptly run into the curb which promptly gave me a flat tire! So much for being on time. With 6 children in tow, we manage to drive back to my house. My mom comes to shuttle the kids with my dad following. My parents are so wonderful. They loaned me their vehicle, which was on empty. I was thinking with the luck I'm having I may be tempting fate. I did make it though. Immediately started working when my boss comes in to tell me that she is not happy because I had messed up on the CEO's mail. I felt terrible and she was not very nice about it. As many of you may know, I don't like having people upset at me. Not to mention I really need this job and if they decide they don't like me, I am within my 90 days and they could let me go. Too much pressure! I then get a call from my mom telling me I need new tires, new breaks and an alignment for a grand total of 890 or something like that! I am at her mercy since I'm working, give her my credit card number and am now really sick to my stomach. Work worries, money worries, what is next? I get home looking forward to going to an award ceremony to honor my daughter, I check the mail and guess what? It is time to renew the registration for my car and pay a dentist bill of $40 for my son. I make 700 every 2 weeks which goes toward 140 worth of gas, I buy food, pay all the bills but the house payment and now all of this at one time. Here goes the visa that I didn't want to use. Our stimulus check hasn't come in yet and my hopes of saving that so I could actually do something fun with my children now and again this summer, just went out the door. I know, you are all wondering why and the hell I entitled this optimist when all I have done is bitch. I'll get there I promise! I met the kids at the Optimist Awards ceremony because it was their Dad's night with them. I was emotionally drained. This was the first event since we aren't together. It killed me. I wanted to hold my husband's hand but I couldn't... he isn't mine anymore. I wanted to talk about how proud I was of her but he isn't mine to talk to anymore. I cried the entire way home from work thinking about the end of my marriage and how much I miss him. My kids new I was upset and asked why. Rather than tell them it's because I miss their Dad, i said because all these bills came. I knew the second I said it I shouldn't have. Either story was not good and I wanted to take it back but couldn't. Where is that damn rewind button?