These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got
boiled down to 4-letter words.
****************************************************************************
*****************

* A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die
on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."

* "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your
policies or your mistress."
****************************************************************************
******************
* "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
* "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I
admire." - Winston Churchill
****************************************************************************
******************
* "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries
with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow
****************************************************************************
*****************
* "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader
to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
****************************************************************************
*****************
* "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no
time reading it." - Moses Hadas
****************************************************************************
*****************
* "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I
approved of it." - Mark Twain
****************************************************************************
*****************
* "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.."
- Oscar Wilde
****************************************************************************
*****************
* "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play;
bring a friend, if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston
Churchill

* "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second ... If
there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.
****************************************************************************
*****************
* "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you
here." - Stephen Bishop
****************************************************************************
*****************
* "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
****************************************************************************
*****************
* "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing
trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb
****************************************************************************
*****************
* "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in
others." - Samuel Johnson
****************************************************************************
*****************
* "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul
Keating
****************************************************************************
*****************
* "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded
easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand
****************************************************************************
*****************
* "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest
Tucker
****************************************************************************
****************
* "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any
address on it?" - Mark Twain
****************************************************************************
****************
* "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." -
Mae West
****************************************************************************
****************
* "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they
go." - Oscar Wilde
****************************************************************************
****************
* "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... For
support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
****************************************************************************
****************
* "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder
****************************************************************************
****************
* "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
- Groucho Marx