Dear Mom,

Last year on this date we were celebrating your birthday with you. A week later you left us. It's been a rough year and a really tough winter. We had alot of snow and super cold weather, so I know you didn't miss that! Today the sun is shining and it's warming up out there. You would be outside cleaning your flower beds. I think of the many times we enjoyed coffee out on your deck and talked about life. I'll meet you out on my porch later and we can talk about what flowers I should plant. I am thinking hanging baskets of petunia's for the porch. I already have the two huge rose plants I planted in your honor last spring. They did really well once I figured out not to cut them back too much.

We still have the one cat, mr. lucky cat. I know you didn't like when I had all those cats before! You were more of a dog person. Remember when I stopped by with our new puppy Rambo? He was just a little black fur ball. I imagine you are spoiling him with all kinds of treats now.

I think you visiting me around the holidays and I appreciate that. Seems like we lost alot of traditions along with you. We all still got together on Christmas and what a fun time we had. Little Olivia is just so precious! Tami and Brooks have been trying to have a baby so if you can influence that a little I would appreciate it.

Yesterday at work wasn't too good, broke down and cried for a while. Then I turned on some music, Willie Nelson, and it made me smile. Also some Johnny Cash. I still remember that time we went with Kelly to see Willie Nelson at an outdoor concert, that was really cool!

I like our little talks at night before I go to bed. I know you are looking down on Dakota and helping to guide him. He is such a sweet boy, even at 13! You guys sure had alot of fun together! Remember picking berries off your trees and his hands would be stained purple! Or how he would touch the pines trees and get zap all over him! We would laugh when he called it zap instead of sap. Those hot summer days we would take the lawn chairs to the shade and enjoy a cold one together, aww nothing tastes better on a hot day than an ice cold beer, preferably German!

It's hard to lose your best friend, the one person in the world who always supported me. So many good memories, I don't think of the bad times. My first apartment and how you would bring me care packages! Usually included a couple beers. It was nice to only live two blocks away but still be on my own.

I'm trying to honor you Mom, as a mom, as a wife and as someone people just want to be around. I haven't been taking care of myself, kind of gave up for a while. But I promise to do better. I want my kids to have me around for a very long time! I will be 50 this year! Last baby will be 50! It's surprising to me too! Most days I don't feel this old. And when the summer rains come, I will go out and dance in the rain like we used to.



Love you Mom!