I can only conclude, after hearing that the U.S. government has given the big bailout banks & brokerages thousands of doses of the H1N1 vaccine, that bankers and Wall Street executives also get bumped up over, say, me, in organ transplant lists and that it is standard policy. Not that I need any organs at the moment.

Pigs.

But since the government has decided these mega corporations are to be dispensers of MEDICINE, are they not federally recognized as agencies or deputies of the government?

So when registering for military service, you could go to a local branch of WellsFargo, maybe. Or report for jury duty at Time Magazine. Time Inc. also received a supply of the vaccine. And the federal government is allowing these corporations to decide how to distribute it.

Boccaccio, who lived in Florence somewhere in the 14th century, lived during and survived the plague. Later he wrote his famous book about some fictional young wealthy people who picked up and went to their beautiful country estates, in order to wait out the plague safely removed from their sick neighbors in the city. They ate, drank, danced, sang while in their little retreat, and told stories to one another.

I can just see Lloyd Blankfein sitting in a bee-loud glade somewhere with a lute on his lap, telling 100 stories to a bunch of reclining young women, ivy wreath on his head. And we, back in the disease-ravaged city, make sure bread and olives and meats get sent to him while he's away.

I'm -- what's the word Mad Magazine always used -- oh, yes. Plotzed.