George Romero may have been a prophet, foreseeing the zombie uprising of this century. It is apparently about to begin.

Here in Monroeville and especially at the Monroeville Mall — where Dawn of the Dead was filmed — the law is taking action against wayward youth. After all, you can’t trust young people, who recently took part in a flash-mob riot ( riot ) here, and over the weekend there were 3 different shootings in town, one of which at the Mall again involving teenagers ( youth escort policy ).

So to crack down on the problem a curfew is in effect, and now the only teenagers unescorted by a 21-or-older guardian permitted in the Mall, after 6pm on Friday & Saturday nights, will be kids who work in Mall stores.

Now that they can’t stay inside in what we foolishly and inaccurately considered a public space, I guess the teenagers will roam the streets. There’s really nowhere to go otherwise. The Mall attracts kids from a wide area of Pittsburgh and other neighborhoods, and it kept them inside. I don’t know how long their rage and disaffection will take to transform them, but they’ll be flesh-eating monsters soon and will attack us in our houses. This is what we know to expect from all the movies.

I’m not looking forward to it.