Dottie Riley

Profile

Username:
dragonflyby
Name:
Dottie Riley
Location:
Brandon, FL
Birthday:
01/19
Status:
Single
Job / Career:
Design

Stats

Post Reads:
140,949
Posts:
497
Photos:
8
Last Online:
> 30 days ago
View All »

My Friends

12 days ago
24 days ago
> 30 days ago
> 30 days ago
> 30 days ago
> 30 days ago
> 30 days ago
> 30 days ago

Subscribe

Brush Strokes

Life & Events > Retirement > Some Missing Pieces
 

Some Missing Pieces



I had a very interesting conversation with someone the other day. We were discussing perceptions and preconceptions. As a society, we measure an individual's success in terms of financial success, not personal accomplishments. We expect that someone who is richly talented and ambitious should also be wealthy. After all, we think, if a person is truly all that intelligent, then they should either have figured out how to make money, or financial rewards for their accomplishments should have found their way to them. That may not be worded the best possible way, but you get my drift.

The conversation had me reexamining my own attitudes towards money. My grandparents were very well off. Fifty years ago, German inheritance laws did not allow personal wealth and property to be inherited by family members not living in Germany. For all I know, it is still like that today. (I think those laws had something to do with the post war reconstruction period.) My mother died before my grandmother, and her only other child, my uncle, inherited the family money. His only son, my cousin, Sigfried, inherited from him and presently owns the Nurnberg fuss ball team. My uncle and his wife- and probably my cousin too- were all hateful and arrogant people who saw my mother's offspring as somethings almost sub-human. They completely shunned us.

Next, came my ex-husband. He inherited his father's money, and even after squandering it all on cars, trips abroad and alcohol, he still died a very wealthy man. He never had a real job in his life, which is why I could never get him to pay child support. (But, he always had the best attorneys when we went to court for non-payment of child support.)These are just two examples, and there are many, many more.

Somewhere along the line, I came to equate wealth with arrogance, abuse of power, and everything that is evil. As I grew older, it never occurred to me to stop and reexamine why I felt that way or were and how those attitudes originated. Acquiring wealth was never a personal goal of mine. On the contrary; my ex-husband used to say that if he did not know any better, he would swear that I took a vow of poverty.

How silly of me! Wealth is not evil, nor are the wealthy all arrogant and abusive. Why did it take me darn near 60 years to figure that out? That almost deserves a California blonde response: duh!

posted on Oct 7, 2010 8:34 PM ()

Comments:

Good post. Wealth/happiness (etc.) is a very abstract topic. Maybe contradictory is a better word. I know there was a recent survey/poll out regarding it. Like money CAN buy happiness, but only to a limit. Anyway, food for thought.
comment by solitaire on Oct 9, 2010 6:18 AM ()
I think I got this part all wrong for most of my life.
reply by dragonflyby on Oct 13, 2010 9:11 AM ()
You really got me thinking. I think you are right about how we judge success. Ironically, how happy people are doesn't seem to play much of a role in that, either. I think you can be rich and successful/happy, but it is not a guarantee.
The painting is amazing. It really got me thinking about about missing pieces and being able to fall apart.
comment by lunarhunk on Oct 8, 2010 11:49 AM ()
The painting is an old one that I turned into this puzzle last year in order to enter it into a VSA show. I like the puzzle better than the original.
reply by dragonflyby on Oct 13, 2010 9:12 AM ()
I think of Bill and Melinda Gates when I think of deserving wealthy
people. There are a lot of arrogant and nasty greedy people who are wealthy and a lot who are not. I had one wealthy husband and surprisingly what I missed when I left was a loss of power. Comfortable is fine for
me although I wish I could do more for my children. I equate wealth with
power.
comment by elderjane on Oct 8, 2010 9:49 AM ()
Yes, I often heard that wealth was power. I just hated what I saw the powerful do to others.
reply by dragonflyby on Oct 12, 2010 7:22 PM ()
There are many people who use their wealth to do good. I think of people like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie who travel the world, meeting with those who have suffered terrible tragedies or are hungry. They also give millions of their personal money to build schools, to rebuild devastated areas, and to feed the hungry. I have never aspired to be rich...just comfortable.
comment by redimpala on Oct 8, 2010 9:02 AM ()
Yes, a lot of wealthy people are also generous. I think I allowed my own family to color my view of wealth for all of my life.
reply by dragonflyby on Oct 13, 2010 9:14 AM ()
It seems like we hear more about the arrogant/abusive rich people because they get all the attention, like small children who want attention, whether it's positive or negative. And then there are all those other rich people we never hear about.
comment by troutbend on Oct 7, 2010 8:41 PM ()
I think what really hit home with me is that despite my many accomplishments, by societiy's gage, I am not regarded as successful! It matters only because my son uses that measure.
reply by dragonflyby on Oct 13, 2010 9:16 AM ()

Comment on this article   


497 articles found   [ Previous Article ]  [ Next Article ]  [ First ]  [ Last ]