While I have an Ain’tNoChristian moment.

It’s not that often that I take a dislike to someone without really knowing much about them. More often than not I *know* why I’m disliking them. HaHa!

There’s a woman at work who I just can’t take to. She works in the office. Sure I’m polite and can make small talk with her when we are sharing the lift. She initiates it. Me, I can ride in close proximity with another without having to say a [pointless] word.

You know how when yer not fussed on someone, you pick up on and exaggerate their [in your eyes] faults and flaws. Well this woman reminds me of a pig. She truly does.

It’s not so much her facial features, even tho she has one of those slightly up-turned noses. Or the fact that she is on the chubbier side, even tho she is always talking about her weight-watching program. Or the fact that since she’s had laser surgery and no longer needs to wear her glasses and I am seeing her squinty pig-like eyes. And it’s not that her feet are usually shod in hideous black mary-jane or ballet shoes, which makes it easy to visualise her little feet as painted up pig trotters.

I think it’s more just her. It’s like she’s out for whatever she can get, with little time or expense outlaid from her. Even tho she ALWAYS says she will do this and do that etc. Offers her help then never backs it up in actions.

We had a *special* week for the residents a few months back. On this particular day, staff were invited to bring in a dish and then enjoy their lunch with the residents. The Activity Director was quite disappointed at the turnout of food and concerned that there would not be enough. When along trots MissPorknBeans up to the buffet [no she didn‘t bring a dish in…naturally she said that she would] making a point of saying she was fixing up a plate for one of the Resoes as she piled the plate three tiers high. Then she sneaks off to the lift, down to the staff break-room to shovel it all into her maw. Then, later in the day complains about having eaten so much.

Today, a congregation of us we waiting for the lift doors to open. There were three of us when MissPorknBeans trotted up. Door opened, we all rearranged ourselves out of the way to let my boss off for she had the heavy and cumbersome cleaning machine in tow. Boss backs out and is starting to get a run-up to push the machine up the slope when MissPorknBeans in her haste to get into the lift steps out in front of my boss halting her progress. Instead of just waiting a bloody minute and letting her pass. Perhaps she thought we wouldn’t let her on.

The other day she joined me on the lift with her overflowing plate in one hand and her diet-drink in the other. On the way down she started to slop her coleslaw off her plate and onto the lift floor. She ignored it. But I know she *knew* because she adjusted her plates balance. I told her she was spilling it, even got it on yer shoe. I cleaned it up. Only because I knew she’d trot off without a backward glance and it would be left to a housekeeper to re-clean the lift after twenty other people have smeared it further.

But, be fucked if I cleaned it off her shoe.

Yeah. Bend over and touch yer own trotters MissPorknBeans!

As an aside. When I first started work there I had to go through some paperwork and questions with the payroll clerk. Blah blah blah. When I left the office, apparently MissPorknBeans who had been listening turned to MissPayroll and exclaimed “She speaks really good English doesn’t she.” I laughed hard when told. Then again this came from the same person who a week later asked my mother-in-law if her Australian daughter-in-law had arrived yet. And I’d been sitting next to her, talking and answering questions about Aus for the past twenty minutes.

I should have said…Yer not too bright are yer?

Instead I blinked a few times and waved hello at her.


Oouff. Look at me, I get to sleep in, in the morning.