I was going to start bitching about stupid people who leave one and a half perforated squares of toilet paper on the roll and then don’t replace with a full one…just as well it was a better brand and the skerrick of paper that was left rolled off without tearing into unusable bits. THAT makes me pissier. I know who did it too. She who leaves the poop slides. Whether these slides are left along with the butt-fluff, pubic hairs and pee puddles for our admiration or what, I do not know. What I do know is she needs to learn some nicer bloody habits. But I doubt she will.

But. Really why should I care. I’m nearly out of here. At Laaaast. Yeah. I’m sure the By-Laws will be nearly as happy as I will. Well…they’ll be happy for the first couple of weeks. I’ll be happy forever. Heh. I’ve already told them we’ll be getting BIGfuckoffHOUNDS, Rex and DogZilla [heh DogZilla] and electric fences to keep them from visiting. And if they get past them, [hey these HillBillies are pretty thick…skinned] if they knock and see movement as we hide, refusing to answer the door, then they should just keeping on truckun.

I believe the Father-by-law thinks I’m kidding. Might have been because I smiled. He obviously missed the eye-twitching or perhaps mistook it for an exaggerated wink.

I was going to start bitching about how our once pristine unadulterated land is now no longer. We’ve had a few eye-openers and a couple of eye-sores, some no all we will overcome. But bugger, it could have looked really bloody nice. Stupid new zoning laws. We missed it by a month or so. Our biggest eye-sore is the whacking big poopy pond, smack dab in our view. Us being the novices, we assumed they would want to hide it in the woods. Wrong. Apparently [like my sister-by-law] it’s all about showing yer shit baybee. I told the FatCrankyBastid not to worry as we’ll chuck out a solar fountain in the middle of it, if we’re lucky we may see a turd or two being spat up out of it. Whack in some bull-rushes and more rock. Make it a showpiece so to speak.

TaahDaah--LePoopPond.

One ridiculous eyesore we were able to get rectified was having the electric meter-box reinstalled against the house, instead of it about being eight foot out from our backdoor, blocking off part of the view from our kitchen window. Yes. I know WTF would you stick one there! As it was, we’d have to build the deck around the bloody meter box. Thankfully now we won’t have to think up weird and wonderful deck designs around it.

I tell ya, at one stage I was really beginning to dislike these blokes who were making our paradise bloody ugly.

Went out there yesterday. Hadn’t been out for a day, I think we were slightly disillusioned. A new crew were there putting in the block foundation. What is it about a tight-tummy tatt that I find strangely erotic. Anyway. Things were moving along. It’s starting to look more like a solid house now. Pity that they’ll backfill so that only one block shows. FatBastid is happy that they’ll leave the unused ones. He has plans of using them for a home for two pigs, one for our freezer and one for his Uncles. He better hope I don’t name them, other than RoastOne and RoastTwo. HaHa!

Funny. While there, I grew a haemorrhoid in the shape of a twenty eight year old excavation driver. Ah the power of an accent uh. Opens many conversations. Turns out he’d had lived in my beloved Aus for about nine months quite a few years back. I have to admit I do enjoy yapping with people who have had an Aussie experience. While it’s always nice to hear about people wanting to go there, I adore those that have. I don’t have to think so much when talking, just let the lingo fly.

If anything I *see* their remembrances in my speech.

Ah sometimes its good to be an Aussie in a foreign land.