Strangely enough my patience balance has been relatively good considering we’ve had the keys to our house in our big fat hands for over three weeks. It’s the electricity companies fault that we are still waiting to move in. I wonder if they’ll print the negative letter I will be writing to their co-ops magazine. Downright utter slow bastards that they are. I’m *wishing BIG, wishing BIG* that it’ll be done by the time my vacation rocks on around. Sure hate to spend those ten days still living here. I’d definitely be anegativepositivepessimist then.

It seems uncommon to come across a family where all members are pretty much “normal”, where one is not retarded. It appears nearly everyone has one. If having a child with some sort of mental retardation is a lottery well there are a heck of a lot of winners in this here area. A workmate who knows my immediate by-laws is quite surprised at how I “did it” for so long. I joined her in the surprise of it all, but added I am very good at biting my tongue. After all, what they have done for us is very much appreciated but it has not gone without its surcharge. I paid out a lot in pain and suffering. And so has the CrankyFatBastid. HaHa.

I have this horrid fear that the in-laws house will be burnt to the ground and they will have to come and live with us whilst theirs is being rebuilt. The fact that for the past ohh two to three months I have been telling the CrankierFatterOne about the weird and disconcerting zzzting noises that have been emanating from the electric box. That same electric box that lives above my head in the basements HellandTarnationRoom. And the fact that just the other night at 12.36am the zzzts got so intense that it zapped off the computer and phone but left the clock on. Yeah stuff like that does not help alleviate this [repeat] cohabitation fear of mine.

I don’t guess they’d like it too much either. I mean the living together rules would be changed one helluva lot. My mother-by-law might wake up one morning with the peanut butter knife globbed onto her forehead instead of it being left to stick, aided and abetted by the left to harden coffee and sugar dregs, to the kitchen counter. And they’d have to share their bedroom with a washer and dryer. Yeah I’d move those appliances out from the laundry area and into their room. Oh you have a headache. Aww. Never mind, maybe the continual thump and hump of the dryer going for the next six hours will get yer mind off yer aching head. Needless to say the lazy-arsed sister-by-law would be billeted out to her half-sister. She’d be needed there for her before and after school heathen-child minding services. That way someone could at least get some sort of use out of her.

I am pleased to say I have redeemed my poor fugly choice in wall colour [spice looked really nice in the small sample I had to choose from] pity I forgot they put that ugly-arsed pattern through it. Blech. When questioned and teased by the SmugLittleFatBastid my defence consisted of it being a cunning and calculated move [Like a FOX] to pick the ugliest colour as it would hasten the “real” walls being done. MmHm. Looking at the walls, I’d say I was pretty darn successful at it too. The bedding for our soon to be delivered neeew king sized sleep-number bed has been washed and openly fondled. Yes. Envy my poor old aching bones Beeitches! Soon. Very Soon. This old body will be sleeping the sleep of a fucking princess. Uh Huh! And a classy one at THAT, just going by my bedding selection. Chocolate and cream. Ou Delish!

If he’s lucky I might even let the CrankyFatBastid share the bed with me. It’s something we haven’t done in the year plus of living here. Crappy old pull out sofa beds are not meant to sleep two comfortably and it hasn’t. Even adding wood beneath the thin mattress didn’t help the lets all roll into the middle of the bed scenario. After a week or two of feeling like I was clinging to the side of a hill he self exiled himself to the upstairs lounge and there he has slept for the past 14 months. In that time we’ve both discovered that we LIKE having room in a bed so with a king sized one we figure we’ll still have plenty of space between us when needed.