Lunch Room Talk

Lately we have all been bringing lunch to work and we end up
sharing food and our lives.

 A few weeks ago one of my colleagues, who is 24 years old
shared with me that her college roommate was coming to Shanghai. I asked her if she would stay with
her family. She laughed and said oh no, how could she, we only have a one
bedroom house. Not thinking I said, well then where do you sleep She answered
with my parents.

 She explained to me that as an only child, she is her
parent’s life. When she went away to college her mother cried every day the
first 2 months.

As she explained it to me, my mother and father and I have
always lived in this small house. When I am not there they really feel a big
gap.

She feels obligated to stay with her parents and says she
loves her parents too much and knows that if she left, unless it was to marry,
it would break their hearts.

This young woman is well educated and at 24 years of age
makes more money every month than both of her parents combined.

Yet she hands over her salary every month and receives a
small allowance from her parents.

Her mother prepares a lunch everyday and she brings it to
work. Her parents have saved most of their salaries all their lives.

As she was telling this story the other young women in the
lunch room said that they would also live with their parents until marriage.

I asked them if they had met someone to marry yet and they
giggled and said that most likely they would wait until their parents found
someone for them.

One young lady said that if her parents selected someone she
did not like she would run away.

I asked her why she would just tell her parents that she did
not like the guys; they all spoke at once letting me know that it was not
possible. Anyway the basic consensus was that the parents would probably make
the right choice.

Recalling my younger years I could not imagine having so
much love for my parents that I would be totally obedient. In many ways I felt
that the love of my parents allowed for room to grow and make mistakes on my
own. I left home when I was 18.