Dear Mr. Bonehead,

You were my mother's lawyer in her objection to having a guardian. I have some questions about your bill.

1. 'Went to Court and tried to obtain copies of medical reports and guardian ad litem reports. Judge has file – call to Atty. K's office'. You want me to pay $100 for that???? Uh-uh. Not gonna happen.

2. Since you are a criminal defense attorney, my lawyer tried to help you – he said you had to be appointed as mom's attorney because she already had a guardian. Instead, you simply called some clerk, who said ya, sure, you betcha, you can be her attorney.

I guess I'd listen to a clerk with a high school education over an attorney with 40 years experience. Yup, that's what I'd do. You want me to pay $40 for that? Not gonna happen.

3. And here's another thing I don't understand – and neither did the psychologist. You hired a psychologist to give my mother a third psych evaluation at a cost of $500. He agreed that she needs a guardian. You made him testify anyway. He said over and over that she needs a guardian right now. So, you built a better case against her objection. He charged over $600 for court time. You think I'm gonna pay that bill? Uh-uh!

4. The judge, being in his right mind and not being impressed by your flashy silk tie, granted me full guardianship and conservatorship. Apparently you took that personally. Afterward, in the courtroom, you had a tantrum and started yelling at my attorney. Security had to be called to remove you! I'm sorry I missed that.

And by the way, I'd like to know where your grades put you in relationship to the rest of your graduating class? As my favorite Aunt used to say, "Somebody has to be last." Was that you?