Being Australian
 is about driving in a German car
 to an Irish pub
 for a Belgian beer,
 then on the way home, grabbing an Indian curry
 or a Turkish kebab,
 to sit on Swedish furniture (from IKEA)  and
 watch American shows
 on a Japanese TV.
 

 Oh and....

 Only in Australia ...
 can a pizza get to your house faster than an  ambulance.

 Only in Australia ...
 do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way
 to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions
 while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

 Only in Australia ...
 do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.

 Only in Australia ...
 do banks leave both doors wide open and chain the pens to the
 counters.

 Only in Australia ...
 do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and
 lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

 NOT TO MENTION....

 3 Aussies die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their
 tongue.

 58 Aussies are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
 screwdrivers.

 31 Aussies have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree
 while the fairy lights were plugged in.

 8 Aussies had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper
 with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

 A massive 543 Aussies were admitted to Emergency
 in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their
 teeth.

 and finally.........

 In 2000 eight Aussies cracked their skull whilst throwing up into
 the toilet.