Many times in my articles or comments I have posted, I've always said I am not a drinker, I am a "one glass wonder".....that is...one glass of anything and I'm done. I dont get happy or merry or silly.....I just get sick. It starts with a serious head-spin and I feel stuff rising up from my stomach and I bolt for the nearest receptacle.....people who know me always have a plastic bucket handy not too far away....lol

It's not that I dont like alcoholic beverages...I actually love cocktails (the ones with cream or anything you drink with milk...Kahlua and milk is a particular favorite) and a nice glass of wine (or two) with dinner....alcohol DOESNT LIKE ME.....that's the problem.

If I'm out somewhere, usually I am marched straight into the "ladies" where I just want the whole world to cave in on me....that's how sick I get...and I swear over and over again....I am NEVER....NEVER... going to have another drink....for as long as I live!!!

But that is always...until the next time...lol .

There's huge gaps (weeks, months even years sometimes) between the "next times"....but inadvertantly, at some point, if I'm at a party, or a wedding or a celebration of some sort, you know...when you have to raise a glass to toast this person or that couple or whatever....well it just wouldnt be right to toast someone with a glass of water now, would it.....I'd have a glass or two and the cycle starts all over again.

I wasnt always like this.....from about 18 to 25, I used to drink with the best of them. Friday nights at the pub after a long week at work...the odd Saturday night summer barbecues at friend's places....Juliana's Nightclub at the Hilton in Perth...a girlfriend and I were members....or just a couple of glasses of wine with dinner or just to unwind at home after a hard day at work.  You all can relate, right?

Yup, sometimes I'd drink too much and I admit I  have done silly stuff like most people....in Bankok for instance, I  got up on stage with the other pole dancing  " ladies"  at a pub on Pat Pong Road....or was it Soey Cowboy....I cant remember...lol.

I'd had 2 or 3 drinks too many, I was feeling free and happy... I was on holidays and having the time of my life....the pub was almost empty (it was midday....they usually fill up at night time) with only a few customers and of course the friends I'd made.... and the bunch I was travelling with.

Yes, the pole dancing ladies only had bikini bottoms on....but I will say right here and now, tipsy as I was......my clothes stayed on!!!

Like most girls in the 18 to 20's bracket, I went through the "normal" concerns about putting on too much weight, not that it was ever a problem, I've always been a skinny mini...but I used to hear all the time that as you get older your body retains more to prepare you for having babies and stuff like that. So, I used to go through periods where I would cut down on my intake of food...not to lose weight...just to stay the way I was.

So then, the inevitable happened....one Friday night, having forgone food the entire day...it was off to the pub with some friends after work. I started drinking on an empty stomach....I was hungry so I thought downing some creamy cocktails would fill me up just as well as dinner or a snack.

After about 3 drinks I started feeling really queazy....my head started spinning, the music in the pub was throbbing in my ears and I felt I was going to have to run to the "ladies"...but instead, I fell off my chair.

I was so embarrassed, because even though I had allowed myself to get tipsy, I always stayed "in control" and NEVER have I ever been sick from drinking.

I dislike people (especially women or girls) who get so out of control that they are just pitiful to watch....and I've never allowed myself to get to that point....even at that pub in Bankok....I knew what I was doing...I was just dancing and having a good time. So this is the first time I have actually fallen off my chair...I was sick but I was not "drunk" that I did not know what had happened. It was humiliating.

One of my girlfriends took me to the ladies where I just heaved and that's when I got that very first feeling of "wanting the whole world to cave in on me"....not only from the way I was feeling but also from the humiliation of falling off my chair in front of everybody.

The humiliation did not end there. One of the guys in the pub (someone I knew) offered to give me a lift home....which I gratefully accepted....and on the way home I wound the window down to get some fresh air and puked all over his car door....and his nice carpet in his very nice car.

What happened the rest of that night is too humiliating to recount....it wasnt good, that's all I will say....nothing to be proud of and certainly nothing that I would write to anyone about.

The only good thing that happened that night is... the guy who kindly took me home, never mentioned anything about what I did to his car...not to me or anybody else for that matter. I will always respect him for that. We are still buddies to this very day.

I did not learn my lesson from that night unfortunately...another time (after the "puke in the car" episode) I was over at my girlfriends house for a barbecue...she and her husband just found out they were having their very first baby...so celebration time. Her husband asked me to try a drink I'd never had before...whiskey macs.....I think its whiskey with ginger ale if I remember correctly.

I tried it, I liked it and it wasnt making me feel sick so I drank another one...and then another and another. I was feeling happy and tipsy but not at all sick so I thought, this is good...I found a drink that doesnt make me ill....so I had some more. It was a good night, everyone was having a great time, friends all together having fun.

Then around midnight, most of the guests had left, my girlfriend offered me their guest room for the night....then just out of the blue....like almost in an instant, my head started swimming and I fell in a heap. She yelled to her husband to grab a bucket.....and I swore...I would NEVER, EVER, drink again.

I asked her if she could take me home (only a short trip...about ten minutes from their house to mine) and she very kindly did. Except, when we got to my house, I couldnt find my house keys. They were back at her house with my car keys, in my car which is parked or her front lawn. Not wanting to go all the way back to her place, I decided to climb in through one of the back bedroom windows.....lucky I left it unlocked.

So there we were almost 1am in the morning "breaking" into my house through the bedroom window...lol. She was hauling me up, pushing me in through the window by my butt....and I fell inside.....went straight to the bathroom...puked myself silly and forgot she was still outside waiting for me to let her in. I thought she jumped back into her car when I got into my house and went home.

She didnt tell me until the next morning that she waited and waited for about half an hour.....she wanted to make sure I was okay.....and when I wouldnt answer her knocks on the door (I swear I didnt hear them), she reluctantly left....I guess she figured I was safe enough in my own house and I would just sleep it off.

So, did I never, ever have another drink again? Dont be silly....I was 22 or 23 years old.....that's partying age.

I had a boyfriend....we decided to go to Phuket for a holiday.  A few of his buddies decided to take the same trip, at the same time....what a coincidence.

To cut a long story short (well, as short as I can make it...lol) one night we all had dinner together in one of those outdoor restaurants on the beach in Phuket....beautiful place by the way.....a very memorable holiday...me being the only girl with my boyfriend Russell and (Matt, Pierre, John and Mark) four of his best buddies.....a story in itself for another time. (Wait till you hear this one....lol)

After dinner, we moved on down to one of the outdoor bars...it was a beautiful night and the bars were swinging...tourists and holiday makers having a great time. There were a few "bar girls" who were just gorgeous and very friendly and I was having a really good time. (I really must save this story for another time....it's a good one....I promise I will tell it in another article post). This one is about alcohol and me and I have to stay on track.

Anyway.....I decided to try a drink I'd never had before....Thai rice whiskey called Mekong....which you mix with coke. I tasted it.....it tasted very mild and didnt seem like it would cause too much damage. Russell bought a whole bottle from the bar, ordered a bucket of ice and some small bottles of coke and I could just help myself whenever....and help myself I did.....I drank the whole bottle over the course of about 3 or 4 hours.

I felt great, it didnt make my head spin, I was having a great time........and then suddenly, I woke up........lifted my head off the bar, looked around....and the place was empty. Russell was sitting next to me making sure I wouldnt fall off my bar stool. Where did the night go?....it was 3.30am and I had no idea I slept through most of the night....on the bar...lol....Russell said everytime he tried to move me to take me back to the hotel, I was like dead weight....so he decided to just let me sleep it off for a while...otherwise he would have had to carry me back to our room....and he'd had a few himself and was not really fit enough at the time to carry my bag, let alone me...lol

It turns out that Mekong is one of those drinks you think you're drinking lolly water (Kool -Aid)...and before you know it, it grabs you...right at the back of your neck.....and you're done!!!

We walked back to the hotel, I plopped into bed, my head spinning and that night, I had the worst nightmares I've ever had in my entire life!!! I can still remember the dreams but its one of those dreams that seems so real, you could swear you were NOT asleep.

I had this nightmare that I was being chased by gheckos....you know those cute little lizards you find around your home...harmless cute little things....well the ones in my nightmare were not cute at all....they were the size of a full grown human being...and they were chasing me...and they had these fingers with suction cups on the end of each finger....I swore I would NEVER, NEVER, NEVER  drink again.

When I got married, (not to Russell by the way...but he's still a very sweet man and we are still friends) well, you know how life changes when you settle down....and settle down I did...I was happy...I didnt need to go to pubs or nightclubs any more....we had friends over or we'd go to friends places or to a restaurant, but the pub/nightclub scene became a "once in a blue moon" affair.

And I think this is why I cant drink more than one glass without getting sick....my body got used to NOT having alcohol so it is a shock when I do drink more than one glass. But I'm okay with it....I dont find any joy in getting drunk or even tipsy....you dont have to be tipsy to have fun.

The End