Today is my birthday. At 2:09 p.m. I will finally be 21.
Okay, I can't say that with a straight face.
At 2:09 p.m. I will be 37 years old. Thirtyfrigginseven years old.
I ran into an old boss the other day and actually used the phrase "a decade ago." Shit. Now I'm old enough that my life can easily be divided into decades.
I received an email this morning, an automatic email,  from an author whose books I loved, Jan Karon and the Mitford Series. She wrote that a birthday was a chance for a fresh beginning: fresh starts, fresh dreams, yada yada yada. And I suppose it can be seen as that.
Aunt Tilly has just moved out of my fallopian tubes so I've been apt to be moody and sullen. I'm unsettled at best. It is almost as if I have a constant itching in my feet, wanting me to move on to something. But what that something is remains to be seen. But there's something gnawing at me....
As for today's activities, Grace has a wonderful imaginary surprise party planned for me. She shared the guest list with me last night and I couldn't help but laugh. Upset that I wasn't going to make my own birthday cake, she had to settle for the make believe I guess. But if anyone can throw a wonderful make believe party, it will be Grace.
I am simply hoping to be able to sit here in front of the computer for a very long stretch of time and not worry about anyone but myself today. I would love to have the time to sit and read blogs, write a couple of emails, and play some silly games. That's what I want for my birthday: solitude.
Makayla has been stuck in a nasty cycle of rebelling against sleep. I don't know what her gig is, but she's about to kill me. And she's a nasty little thing when she wants out of her crib, screaming and yelling in Mariah Carey octaves. I never feel right leaving Da Man to suffer through that alone, so I sit upstairs and share the hell, but by the time she gives it up I'm beat and head to bed myself.
I hear someone playing with the baby monitor. Well, they just turned the baby monitor off so I suppose that's my cue. Damn.