This time tomorrow night I will probably be finishing the wrapping of the packages. I haven't started. Surprise. Every present is downstairs at my mom's. I don't know if she has started or not. I'm assuming not because she would have probably called to tell me that she was doing it. We'll see.

The girls and I watched some old cartoon yesterday. Santa had lost his magic bag, and the world hadn't celebrated Christmas for 30 years. It was an interesting take on the holiday. They made sure to include the birth of Jesus as the emphasis. Did you know that Santa's bag is magic because it is made of the material that Mary wrapped baby Jesus in when he was born? I didn't know that either.

This Christmas is very different. First off, I didn't have the money to buy gifts for the girls. They would have gotten one or two gifts each. But then The Universe smiled so brightly on the little ones from my loins; two women, one a virtual stranger while we only speak to the other one once a month. One showed up at our door Saturday afternoon with bags of gifts for my daughters. They knew it had been very hard on me since Ass left and chose to spend the money on my daughters that usually goes to the Salvation Army's giving tree. *smile*
The second woman began her gift by shoving a $50 bill into the palm of my hand on Saturday morning. Sunday morning she told me that she was going to take me on a shopping trip following church. And then I found a $100 bill in her Christmas card to me. (Yes, you read that right. $150 in cash.)She took me out to lunch and then to Target in the afternoon. Spent $270 on the girls. I was overwhelmed.
A variety of emotions coursed through my being as I struggled to understand how I was so deserving. And there was the feeling of failure too. I should have been the one who was spending that kind of money on my girls, not some stranger. But I couldn't.

So it's been a beautifully spiritual week for me. I have come to terms with the fact that the two women chose my family to bless with their love and kindness. I am still overwhelmed. I don't feel worthy.

I received a beautiful gift from my boss. It was a necklace with a blown glass pendant. It was perfect for me. I truly am blessed.

I am sure that the emotions will come over me again as I sit and wrap the gifts. Full circle. But it will really be something when the girls wake up and run to find Santa's gifts. Christmas can't get here fast enough for me. I am just as bad as the girls. But this year the meaning of the season will have brand new meaning.