Thanksgiving is done. *Sigh* I was sitting here yesterday afternoon, listening to the girls and their playful babbling, when I had this thought of "Isn't there supposed to be more than this?"
Mine isn't a big family. And we have always spent Thanksgiving by ourselves. When grandma and pop were alive we headed there, but no "outsiders" were invited. That's when we were younger and made to be there, too. And there is always a mom-imposed elephant in the room.
See, my dad was shot in the leg while hunting on Thanksgiving Day when I was six years old. He died in 1977. Mom has always used that as a crutch to start acting in a not-so-holiday way. For years I have insisted that she get over it. Thanksgiving is not something that is going to go away. It comes around at the same time every year and it is forever. And I'm thinking so is mom's woe is me mentality.
In fact, we were in the kitchen on Thanksgiving Eve, talking about my female cousins hunting. I told her that I had seen a picture of a cousin's husband's dead deer on my facebook page and had seriously considered writing to all of them, asking them to please block me from such posts because I hate looking at dead trophy animals.
Mom said, "Did you ask her if she remembered what happened 33 years ago? That probably would have made her stop." I sighed and said, "No, mom, I didn't. I think it's time to get over that." She huffed (literally) and said nothing. So I added, "I don't want another generation of us to not be allowed to enjoy Thanksgiving." Yeah, not the most gentle of statements, I know, but I have been short on gentle lately.
Anyway...
My brother and SIL have been living in my mom's basement for a year and a half. They may have given my mom a couple hundred bucks in that time. And they aggravate the hell out of me. Now the worse part of that? I never see them. Had my SIL not joined us at the Christmas parade last week, we would have been heading into a two month streak of not seeing each other. I have no use for them. The closest I come to seeing them is heading to the basement to do laundry. And I make sure they're gone.
My biggest beef? Not only do they not help my mom financially, they are do-nothings. My bro hasn't worked in probably eight months, relying on my SIL's petty waitressing income. They're always hungry. They're always out of gas. Blah. Blah. Blah. And they constantly use whatever laundry supplies are forgotten in the laundry room. Their latest victim? My Gain fabric softener.
I have so much animosity building in regards to the two of them. I told mom that they will pull this "I don't have any money" crap when it comes time to provide Christmas gifts. But they'll expect Christmas gifts because that's how they are; everyone owes them something. So I told mom that I was going to buy them laundry detergent. Fockers. And I know, it's not about the gifts, which I do plan on using to my advantage this year. I don't give a damn if they buy for me or not, but I really hope they at least acknowledge the day for my girls since they will want and expect to be added to our gift lists. (That sounds petty regardless of how I rewrite it. Oh well.)
Mom called yesterday and told them that we would be eating around 2. They said they were going to her mom's at noon and would be back to eat. Whatever. We knew we wouldn't see them. And we didn't. The saddest part of it to me was TYD's question of "Uncle doesn't want to be my family?" Yeah. Asses.
Wow, this has gone somewhere totally different than my original intention. Let me get back on track....
Our big Thanksgiving feast was for myself, my daughters, and my mom. We did a turkey breast and the other typical things. It was a good meal. I think one of the nicest parts of Thanksgiving meals is that it is a bit more...elaborate than any other meal of the year. Never would I fix that much food for just the four of us at any other time.
My girls don't get excited about a meal. They don't really like to eat, so a meal is just a meal. And part of it goes with their age, eh. They are too young to really get what the holiday is about. TOD has her finger on it, but the depth is missing. And TYD...well...yeah, she has no clue. Ha.
So it was pretty much just another day to us. I sat and played games on the computer pretty much all day. The girls did what they do. But we ate well. Even if mom and I were the only ones who noticed. *smile*There was no big family gathering. There were no planned activiites or a kid's table. Just the four of us. And I was okay with that because I had my blessings with me. Though I am determined that starting next year we will have something to do, a new tradition to start. They are not, nor have they ever been, interested in the big Macy's parade. So I'm thinking we're going to start hitting the cinemas. Something.
I'm in charge of making sure that my girls are not made to smother the meaning of the holiday because their grandfather lost his life through a line of unfortunate circumstances decades ago. Though I would love to be in a large family at times like these. I would love to pack the truck with cooked goodies and head on over to Cousin Whomever's house and see relatives that haven't been seen since the last Thanksgiving. And I would love to be able to sit at the kids' table. But I'm okay with sitting in my small kitchen with my small family, eating a meal that is lost on the young ones, surrounded by my blessings.
And not having the ridiculous thoughts concerning my bro and his wife...but that may be reaching a bit too far. *snort*