Daisy AsIf

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walkwithgrace
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Daisy AsIf
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10/26
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Life & Events > Before You Judge
 

Before You Judge

Not all of the things I write are with a purpose. Granted, some of them are, but most of them are just because I like to "speak" here. I mean, no one from my real life knows that I do this, so I am free to be who I want to be. I can say what I want without explanation. I can pretend to be who I want without explanation. That, perhaps, is the biggest draw to me.
So don't judge.
Perhaps you can close this page and feel as if you have gained insight into the ways of someone else. Perhaps you will close this page and think that I am a crazy lower class bitch that doesn't deserve your time. Whatever you need to do with what you read here, take it. But don't judge.
--------------------------------------------------------------
I said the other day that I didn't like being M's mom because it wasn't fun. Well, that didn't go over well at all with my mom. Nope. She proceeded to whip me with that tongue of hers until I thought I was going to bleed. But see, she judged. I didn't say "I don't want to be M's mom." I didn't say, "I wish I had never have had her." No, I simply said that I didn't like being her mom because it wasn't much fun.
And by "not fun" I mean, it's work. It's a constant effort, which means a constant outpouring of energy that I don't always have. I get tired on every level. She is a job. That old saying, "It takes a village to raise a child?" Yeah, maybe not every child (because if G could set the alarm clock and use the stove, she wouldn't need me), but M fo' sho'.
She is full of energy that I have never had. She is stubborn. She is going to do what she wants because that's what she wants to do. But the one thing I can say is that she is teaching me how fucking uptight I am about ridiculous things. So I'm slowly learning how to bend. But it's still not a lot of fun because I am a lazy person and she will not be raised successfully if I sit on my ass.
It's not fun because she makes me realize things about myself that I don't really enjoy realizing. First off, that I am lazy. Not that I can't take one glance around the room at the kid's shit tossed about and realize that, but she really drives it home. And who likes to admit that they're lazy?
She makes me realize that I am a total control freak. If I would just stop trying to make her do every little thing my way we would get along a lot better, but that's easier said than done.
But enough about that. Because I have other things that I don't want you to judge me on...
Like the fact that I am really considering calling her dad and telling him I want to have mad fucking monkey sex. No mention of the girls (because he doesn't seem to care). No talk of how he is doing (because I don't really care). But because I would like to have sex. And he is the only man I have had sex with in six years. It would be familiar. It would be...well, fast. Having sex with him was always like having sex with a teenage boy, complete with giggles at times.
Ew.
Yeah, I probably won't call him just to have sex. Me and my fucking overthinking (the profanity is intended, not the pun).
Sex for favors. Is that prostitution? Like, if I would ask a dude to stop by every morning and scrape my truck windows, maybe carry out the trash on garbage night and tell him that I have nothing to pay him with so we'll take it out in trade...is that prostitution? Of course, I would have to actually have something to do with a dude, talk to one, for this to even be an option.
And again, don't judge.
I was talking to a dude for awhile. He would call once a week and invite me to his house for a jam session of sorts. And we started to randomly run into each other at places around town. Then I called him one night while I had the girls in the tub. Madness ensued and I haven't heard from him since. *snort*
Coward.
And then there's the Long Lost Lover dude. A fourteen year reunion took place and it was odd. "I need you to be someone you can't be," he said, "so go to bed." BAM. And there it is. Though it was followed up the next day with, "You're still the coolest girl I know," and that made it all better between us. I know your mouth is probably hanging open, but don't judge. We had reached that point is all.
And knowing that I am the coolest girl he has ever known is always going to be a constant between us. And maybe one day we will both mature in the same ways, on the same plain, and we will get it back to good. I miss him. And the energy between us was phenomenal. Just a dose of him, such as his steady 1 min. 12 sec. conversations, is enough to carry me through the day. I love him.
"Maybe we never broke up," he said the other day. And maybe he's right because I have carried his wisdom with me for years (14 to be exact)and have wished for him to come back. So just a little dab of energy will do me. For now. Until The Universe makes us move in whatever direction It intends for us to move.
So don't judge.
Put yourself in my shoes. I have been a single mom for the better part of seven years. I have had to take care of everything while sitting in the silence of the deep night and realizing that yet I have accomplished little. I have had to go without a lot so I can keep my focus on the vast amounts that I have. I have made what appeared to be wonderful decisions only to realize that there is such a thing as a beautiful outcome from a horrible mistake.
I'm not very lady like, though I am a strong woman (to a fault). I have problems with love though I believe it truly is the cure for every problem created by man. I think it's okay that sometimes people do things just for the hell of it, to fulfill some deep driving carnal need. And I believe that we can learn a lot about people as a whole if we take the time to listen, realizing that comments aren't always necessary.
If you think you are a lot different than me, that's good by me. If you thin that you're a lot like me, that's good with me too. If you think you're better than me, maybe you are. I suppose it depends on the scoring system you use. Take what you need from me and leave the rest behind for someone else to use.
You may be blessed, you know, because perhaps, due to the pure candidness of my blog, these may be the best parts of me, the real deal, the truth. So use it. But don't judge.

posted on Nov 11, 2010 11:56 AM ()

Comments:

I've missed you Amy!
comment by firststarisee on Nov 12, 2010 5:52 PM ()
Yes. That would be you.
comment by juliansmom on Nov 11, 2010 8:05 PM ()
I like it. "Distance sister." It makes me smile.
Though if I thought I could cross the border and get a new SS# (thus, a fresh new credit score) I would probably be there by Christmas.
reply by walkwithgrace on Nov 11, 2010 9:05 PM ()
I really don't think it's even a possibility so... thinking it's a choice isn't so bad.
comment by kristilyn3 on Nov 11, 2010 7:57 PM ()
K, I used no birth control for 4 (F-O-U-R) years with G's dad and was pretty active in the sack before he shot the one. lmao Don't count it out yet. And besides, if you want a child, there are soooo many ways these days.
reply by walkwithgrace on Nov 11, 2010 9:03 PM ()
And I'm thinking that maybe (and perhaps I'm reaching)I was referred to as your "soul sister" on fb?
YES! A distance sister! But seriously, Of course you were. Talking to J I was like... Amy? But it wasn't you.
Your explanation of M makes me REALLY wonder about kids, although I don't think I can have them anyways. But... it seriously makes me wonder...
comment by kristilyn3 on Nov 11, 2010 7:42 PM ()
Ha, ha, ha...distance sister. That still makes me giggle.
reply by juliansmom on Nov 11, 2010 8:06 PM ()
Don't allow my warped reality to influence your decision on kids. The truth is this: The first child is rarely ever like this. Seriously, ask around. There's something about the younger kids.
Here is what a cousin had to say about having only one child. Form your opinions from this.
I have one kid. I won't have another one. Why? Because I had one dog and loved that dog more than anything, so I got another. I didn't like it at all.
I had a cat. I loved that cat more than anything, so I got another one. I didn't like it at all.
And I'm afraid it will be that way with kids. I have one kid that I love more than anything in the world. And now I'm afraid to have another one.
hee hee.
You have it in your heart to love more than one dog. Some of us aren't that blessed.
reply by walkwithgrace on Nov 11, 2010 7:53 PM ()
I raised two boys with the help of a husband. I can't even imagine what it is like to raise two by yourself. I admire your strength and determination and I think your girls are very lucky to have you for their Mother.
comment by gapeach on Nov 11, 2010 7:05 PM ()
That was a beautiful comment. Thank you. And pray for me. And them. And us.
reply by walkwithgrace on Nov 11, 2010 7:13 PM ()
First of all, girl, you need to know that after I read this, I had to step outside for a few moments...it was that powerful for me...and I needed to collect myself. ie. Smoke half a cigarette in record time.

I was about to log onto my other blog which nobody reads to pour my heart out to nobody but then I read this and found that you had written exactly, and I do mean *exactly* what I needed to pour out so I read it instead of writing, crying my eyes out because, damn girl...I could have written this tonight. Almost did. Right down to being tongue whipped to admitting that sometimes, this isn't what I bargained for.

So, thank you. Thank you a million times over.

You and I are connected in such a strong and fierce way that when it slaps me in the face, it could almost be scary if I wasn't so f*cking grateful for you...
comment by juliansmom on Nov 11, 2010 5:46 PM ()
Yeah. What you said.
The connection is indeed "fierce." And it maybe should be scary for the rest of the world. Ha.
I you. And I'm thinking that maybe (and perhaps I'm reaching)I was referred to as your "soul sister" on fb? It made me grin a big "if you only knew, sister" grin regardless as to it being about me or not.
And as for all the other beautifully gushing lines you wrote in your comment, you do that for me quite often. It's all good, J, because I gotchur back.
reply by walkwithgrace on Nov 11, 2010 7:12 PM ()
Sending some hugs your way.
comment by troutbend on Nov 11, 2010 3:10 PM ()
Aw, hugs. I dig them.
reply by walkwithgrace on Nov 11, 2010 7:04 PM ()
No judgment. Just understanding...
comment by shesaidwhat on Nov 11, 2010 12:38 PM ()
That's nice. Thank you.
reply by walkwithgrace on Nov 11, 2010 7:04 PM ()
I had one like M. There were times I did wish I had never had her. She's 29 now and I can't imagine having lived my life without her. She's probably the first one who would take me in when I'm old and alone and in need.
I'm sorry but it is human nature to judge and judge you I do. I judge you to be a caring mother who does the very best she can for her girls. I judge you to be creative and talented. I judge you to be the kind of woman I would want as a friend.
comment by nittineedles on Nov 11, 2010 12:20 PM ()
Oh, nitti, I miss you so. You have no idea. This brought tears to my eyes. Thank you. Did you find yourself feeling guilty about saying that, even though she is 29 years old? I hate that everyone makes it so hard for me to be real about my feelings. And yeah, the truth is, M is soooo much like me. She'll probably be the one of the two to not judge me.
reply by walkwithgrace on Nov 11, 2010 7:03 PM ()

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