I've been reading a book published by Yankee Magazine called "Vinegar, Duct Tape, Milk Jugs & More," a compendium of household hints sent in by readers, edited to a mildly irritating style including bad puns. Here are a few that made me laugh:

"Insulate the Problem People who spend a lot of time on computers often complain of sore wrists and forearms. When this soreness becomes severe enough, it's called carpal tunnel syndrome. You can buy fancy wrist rests or pads to keep your wrists from bending too much while you're working on the computer -- or you can get the same benefit by slicing open some leftover foam pipe insulation. Wrap the insulation around each wrist (It should be long enough to keep your wrist immobile) and hold it in place with a rubber band or a piece of string. You want your hand, wrist, and arm in a straight line when you are at the keyboard."

Okay. Picture that. Now look at this:

"Brassieres When you're working on your knees on a hardwood floor the cups from old padded bras may be the perfect cushion to keep your kneecaps from crying. Or if you're stuck for a simple dust mask, try getting creative with a single cup. Believe it or not, the foundation material is often the same stuff used in those disposable filters found in hardware stores."

Add that to the picture. Alternatively, they suggest you can duct tape cellulose kitchen sponges to the knees of a pair of pants to wear gardening.

"Six Things to Wear in Place of Belts Necktie, Silk scarf, Pair of cotton bandannas, Cotton napkins, Length of rope, Long leather bootlace."

And this:

"Raid the Kitty to Pamper Your Face You can make a perfectly good clay facial mask, one that detoxifies your skin, with kitty litter. Use all natural clay litter, not any sort of lumping or scented litter. Place 3 tablespoons in a bowl and add about the same amount of water. Crunch the mixture up with a pestle. When it is good and soupy, pat it on your face and let it dry."

Got it? This has me afraid to ring a doorbell up there in New England, afraid that some frugal 'use it up, wear it out' Yankee will answer the door all decked out like above, and this would be the guy: