Here's a story from my weekly rural news magazine, The Fence Post:

"Mr. and Mrs. Nutson Boltz were newlyweds and, as a wedding gift, one of their elderly farm lady neighbors thoughtfully gave them the nicest present she could think of — a baby piglet.

Well, that piglet grew and grew — both in size and as Mrs. Boltz's favorite pet. That pig became house broken and had the run of the place. All the pig really asked of life wuz to be fed frequently and to be petted and scratched just as often.

As luck would have it, one day some peddlers of religious information came calling to the Boltz house and Mrs. Boltz wuz the only person home. As the persistent peddlers stood in the front yard and didn't take the hint that they should be on their way, along came Miss Piggy out of the shade and came up to the strangers in her yard, wanting something to eat and a good scratching from them.

Of course, the city-bred peddlers wanted nothing to do with Miss Piggy on one hand, but on the other hand hated to leave without a convert. So, they uncomfortably kept wary eyes on Miss Piggy as she rooted and grunted at their legs to get their attention. They even tried to shoo her away.

Finally, Miss Piggy apparently had enuf of their inhospitable ways and turned around and promptly pooped right on the bright shiny shoes of one of the peddlers.

Mrs. Boltz laughed in recollection that the peddlers couldn't get away from Miss Piggy and from the Boltz farmstead fast enuf — and they ain't been back since that fateful day."

This in an elk near our woodpile: