I admit I don't get 100% of these jokes, but give it a try, you'll find a chuckle in here somewhere.

Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns


Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping
through them, they can never get an erection.
Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely,
Logic


Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.
Sincerely,
The Titanic

Dear America,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada


Dear Yahoo,
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just
saying...
Sincerely,
Google


Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF
happened?!
Sincerely,
1985


Dear Windshield Wipers,
Can't touch this.
Sincerely,
That Little Triangle


Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,
Please lknvfdmv.xvn.
Sincerely, Stevie Wonder


Dear Nickleback,
That's enough.
Sincerely, The World


Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely, Black people


Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely, Sarah Palin


Dear Osama Bin Laden,
Marco....
Sincerely, United States


Dear World of Warcraft,
Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity.
Sincerely, Parents Everywhere


Dear Batman,
What was your power again?
Sincerely, Superman


Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely, Nail Salon Ladies


Dear Global Warming,
You're the best imaginary friend ever!
Sincerely, Al Gore


Dear Ugly People,
You're welcome.
Sincerely, Alcohol


Dear Mr. Gump
WTF are you talking about? There's a little diagram on the lid that tells
you EXACTLY what you're gonna get....
Sincerely, Jenny


Dear Haiti (or Japan),
Is it too early to ask what's shakin'?
Sincerely,
Seriously Going To Hell


Dear Martin Luther King Jr.
I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream....
What now?
Sincerely,
Leonardo Di Caprio

Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars ends there because some
Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?
Sincerely,
The Mayans


Dear Snooki,
GET BACK TO WORK!
Sincerely,
Willy Wonka


Dear White People,
Don't you just hate immigrants?
Sincerely,
Native Americans


Dear iPhone,
Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words.
You piece of shut.
Sincerely,
Every iPhone User


Dear Giant Spider on the Wall,
Please die. Please die. Please die. Please die.
CRAP!
Where did you go?
Sincerely,
Terrified


Dear Trash,
At least you get picked up...
Sincerely,
The Girls of Jersey Shore


Dear Dr. Phil,
Look man, there's only room for one fake doctor in this world
and I was here first.
Sincerely,
Dr. Pepper


Dear Man,
It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Sincerely,
Elephant