Don't drink and fly.

This guy, 40 years old, was flying from Texas to Atlanta on Delta but his flight was delayed 2 hours so he had five double whiskey and Cokes in an airport bar. He'd also had a few beers before he got to the airport. When he finally got onto the plane he plopped down in seat 20D - not his seat and started flirting with the young woman in seat 20E.

He bragged that he was a US Marshal and had a gas canister that could put everyone on board to sleep.

The young lady went to the restroom and typed a message on her cell phone: "If the guy in 20D is a marshal disregard this msg. He has a torch that he lit and showed me. And he said his canister has a gas device that will make everyone on the plane pass out if there is danger. He also has a device that says is like a Taser. I will go sit back down. Do what you need to."

She came out of the restroom and handed the phone to a flight attendant, who got the pilot to divert the plane to Memphis. Cops dressed as paramedics came onto the plane and hauled out the drunk guy. All passengers had to get off while the plane was searched.

Mr. Big Mouth was arrested on charges of carrying a weapon or explosive on an aircraft. He enjoyed a three-day stint in the Shelby County Jail, being stripped "buck naked" twice. He was eventually freed on a $10,000 bond. And now he's banned for life by Delta Airlines.