This morning’s fashion page in the Fort Myers News-Press carries a couple of photos of models wearing clothes inspired by the movie, “Slum Dog Millionaire.” I haven’t seen the movie but I might if it ever gets on TV. Meanwhile, the clothes are all right – I like Indian fabrics and if they are coming into the mainstream, that’s fine with me. What was disingenuous about the photos is that it’s lately trendy to put the models into awkward stances, toes slightly turned in, posture slumped in a way that accentuates hips, making them look lumpy when a different posture would not. I am thinking, they want them to look unposed, casual, as if, when the camera is pointed at them, they are charmingly thinking, “Oh, (blush), who, me???” Well, that’s a crock. And I’d rather see people standing in healthy poses and not as if they are about to trip over a stool. The “look” is, I suppose, intended to make the models seems “natural”, unaffected.. Oh, vomit. “She’s just like me, stupid, clumsy me, I think I’ll buy those clothes.”

This reminds me of TV commercials where the housewife can hardly articulate a thought, and uhs and ohs over the product stumbling over the syntax -- and this is supposed to make the nerds of the world identify with her and run out to get the product. I also, for a while, wondered why everyone huckstering household goods on TV sounded like trailer trash from Alabama. Don’t the producers think literate, urban folk spend money?

I’m not wearing dresses anymore and I have some classic ones in the closet but they’re for elegant affairs and aren’t right for cook-outs or the “early bird” dinners at nearby restaurants. Around here no one goes anywhere to see and be seen and maybe there are readers of this piece that think oh, that’s all right because that’s shallow. Well, let’s hear it for shallow. There was a time in my young life when going out meant looking great and looking at other great-looking people was fun. Glamor deserves a place in modern life. Glamor doesn’t have to mean you are neglecting your children or abandoning your obligations. Glamor is for lifting your spirits after you have cleaned out the kitty litter and hauled garbage to the curb. And no one is glamorous who is posed to look spinally challenged so they can appeal to the schlubs of the world.

Snarl.

xx, Teal