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So I believe I've come to the realization that when I write (or vent, depending on events of the day) prior to laying down for the night I sleep much better...fall asleep quicker even.
My husband was quite amused when I tried to explain to him the way my thoughts go wild as I lay in bed for the night:
I start to say my nightly prayers and as I start to pray about safety for tomorrow....
- what do I have to do tomorrow?
go to work
- what will that be like? I hope it goes well.
I remember my first grade teacher
- what was the name of the boy I had a crush on in first grade?
- I remember my many crushes
- I wonder what Frank is up to these days
- I recall how obsessed I was back then
- I recall the boys I dated who were obsessed (or possessed?)
- I am thankful for my husband
- I recall our first "date"
- I start thinking about the future
- I start thinking of names we have already discussed for our future children (who aren't even conceived yet btw)
- what if we have two boys?
- more names
- what if it's two girls?
- more names
- what if we have more than two?
- more names
- if I get pregnant now that means I will have an October baby....right?
- I need to loose weight
- I have to start exercising
I start praying again, I start praying for loved ones...
- I wonder how my sister is doing
- I wonder how my nephews and niece are doing
- I wonder how all my family is doing
- It's my brother's birthday tomorrow, I should call him
I start praying again....
You get the point, somewhere in there I drift off and sleep, sometimes it takes a half hour, sometimes two hours...and I always think somewhere in there, "I should get up and write." but then I tell myself I WILL fall asleep eventually.
Now, do I think by writing all this out it will help tonight? I doubt it, but one can always dream...
