CAUTIONARY WARNING: THE FOLLOWING STORY, THOUGH
TRUE, IS A BIT OFF-COLOR.  IT’S JUST TOO
GOOD NOT TO PASS ON.

As a newly hired prosecutor, I was assigned to
handle misdemeanor cases.  The majority
of them were shoplifting, domestic violence, marijuana, disorderly conduct and
the like. Most cases, as is always the way, plead out. But this defendant
refused to own up so we had to try the case before a jury. The charge was
indecent conduct.

What the guy had done was pull into one of those
drive-in restaurants where the carhop comes over and takes your order, then
delivers the food on a tray that is hung on the car door.  The poor gal who arrives to take his order,
unfortunately, gets more than she bargained for: the guy was masturbating.
Nonplussed as she was, she managed to take his order – a burger, fries, and a milk
shake – then returned inside, where she informed the manager, who duly called
the police.

Before the cops show up, the defendant’s order is
ready. The manager says to her to take it out to him so he doesn’t get
suspicious.  Following his instructions,
back out she goes with his meal, only to have to suffer watching this wacko
still exposing himself to her.

Finally the law arrives and charges the guy.  At trial, his lawyer is an assistant public
defender who is probably less happy having to defend it than I am having to
prosecute it.  The guy is found guilty as
charged and the judge sends him off to jail.

The name of the drive-in restaurant:  Steak
‘n Shake.