My Ex-husband and I were together for nearly 10 years. It has been 11 years since my divorce from him became final. There are now more years divorced between us than married ones together.

It has been 8 years since my ex-husbands 2nd wife came into our lives. Her presence wreaked unspeakable havoc.

My children were not oblivious to what has gone on in all these years. As they have grown, they have come to form their own judgments, surpassing their Stepmom's (and sometimes Father's) emotional age. They see who the common denominator is in all the troubled damaged relationships. It's not me, nor is it the children.

They recognized when one parent’s hate for the other parent is stronger than the love for them. And as sad as that is, this fact allowed them to see the truth behind just "who" some people are.

Naturally, all three of my kids have gravitated to the unconditional love that a parent is supposed to have for their children. When one parent covertly attempts to make the children "choose", the children will choose the one that didn't. Their bond with me is rock solid, strong and deep. Their Father/Stepmother's actions just as much as mine saw to that.

And now... the war, that I never wanted to partake in, appears to be ending with no real clear winners.

It seems as if one by one, everyone has thrown in their personal white towel.

Everyone is tired of fighting. Everyone lost something. Nobody won anything.

There is however, for me, karmic reward for trying my hardest to make all of us ok. For taking the high road nine times out of ten, "it" has come full circle now... and "it" was always about "them" ...

11/2008