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Taking a Step Back
Taking a Step Back
The problem with blogging is that for me, it's very one sided. It's also a forum where I can vent my frustrations and tend to leave out the happier moments of my life and more importantly my relationships.
I need to work on that.
First I should confess that I'm a fiercely independent woman who has lived alone for 14 years. Had only a few relationships and most of them lasting only 3 weeks to 3 months. I spent years at a time alone without even a casual encounter. Don't know why, but I tend to be a solitary creature. I flee commitment. I run from relationships. I push people away when they get too close.
That is something I've been working on.
When I met Thom, I felt a strong connection to him in our brief encounter in June 2007. I then kept running into him at art shows and parties. Finally he decided to hit on me, "If you need a place to crash, you can crash with me" in October. We've been seeing each other since.
He set rules on our relationship. Rules I was completely okay with since at the time I was still seriously into my losing weight phase.
And Thom was and still is completely, 100% supportive of that aspect of my life. In fact stood up for me yesterday when I was getting flack for not hiking because I want to run a Half marathon in July. He is proud of me and my accomplishments and my drive to keep going despite an injury. As he himself gave up mountain biking after breaking his rotator cuff.
Thom and I have a quirky relationship and I think it only fair that I own up that part of the quirkiness is mine.
I stay with Thom because he is an enigma to me. I cannot figure him out. He is a puzzle that I want to learn to solve. And if we break up 3 days, 3 months or 3 years from now, I won't have considered him a waste of my time. I will however cry and have a broken heart. That is inevitable.
As a wise woman once told me, if it doesn't hurt in the end, the relationship didn't mean anything.
Thom means something to me and he is worth the risk of a broken heart.
posted on Apr 13, 2009 6:11 PM ()
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