I'm in between jobs and in between romances.

My six months on the movie ended a week ago. I'm looking for work and thinking my best bet is to sign up with a temp agency as I won't re-qualify for full unemployment benefits till July. I know I need to, but it's just a matter of getting my lazy butt there to take the skill tests.

Since I can't find a boyfriend, I'm having to settle for lovers. I realized recently that it's been almost 3 years since I left Thom. But I'm not complaining because it beats being alone. I did that for most of last year - and almost all of my 20s. I have tried online dating to unhappy results so I've always been hopeful to meet someone organically through friends, at parties, on pub crawls and even at the movie wrap party. The latter left me a little depressed cause I didn't meet anyone at the wrap party (except a lesbian couple that thought I was super hot - her words) and ended up hanging with the guys I worked with from the shop.

My current lover, let's call him Ray, understands that I need and want more in a relationship than he can offer me. So when I told him that I met someone new over the weekend, he told me to let him know if and when I need a rebound. I'm not programmed to juggle two men at the same time and he understands this. I've tried twice in the past, only to find myself miserable with both men.

The new man is going through a bad divorce so he's not ready for a relationship either. We'll call him Skinny. But what's a near 40 year old girl to do? Can't seem to meet any truly single men lately. And I'm not going to waste my sexual peak... especially when it's been so good lately. But after talking to Skinny at a party, I knew that he needed me, if only to help distract him from his problems and remind him that not all women are bad. Besides, he's really cute, friend approved, nice and just that right amount of crazy that I seem to be attracted to. Ya, know?

He asked me when I was first attracted to him, when he arrived at the party or later. I replied that it was minutes into our first conversation of the night. He said that he too was attracted to me at that same time. And smiled this big, awesome smile. We had flirted throughout the night and talked with his friends till the sun came up. I ended up at his place where he made me breakfast.

I teased him that he was my first married man. He replied that it was only on paper. He's been separated for over a year and his ex has moved to another state and in with the man she had cheated on him with for over a year before he found out when they separated. Yep. A bit scorned, that one. But after spending many hours hanging out with him over the weekend, I know he is desperate to move on. Another reason he needs me, I'm a good transitional woman.

Of course, that is, if he follows through with his promises to call me. I've been burned before. But I'm always hopeful.

. . .

And maybe one day, I might be more than transitional, if not for him then for someone else who appreciates what a great catch I truly am.