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(continued from previous post)
Saturday night TBD and I left the party a little early and headed to his place. In the morning we woke early because TBD was planning to go into work. He asked what I was thinking, and I replied that I wished he didn't have to work. I was feeling really sleepy from the events on Saturday and hoped that we could sleep in a little more. I was already too late to make my Sunday morning spin class.
He granted my wish and skipped work. We lingered until his dog got too impatient for the two of us to get out of bed. TBD fixed me a veggie egg scramble and coffee. Yum! In the meantime I played with the dog to make him feel loved too. Due to the heat I easily wore out his dog with a game of chase me-and-the-toy and tug-of-war.
TBD and I became couch potatoes for a while and then got into a serious discussion about our un-serious relationship. We both reiterated to the other about where we stood. Neither of us are ready for the next step especially since we can't see an easy future for the two of us together.
I confessed that I had dated someone else back in November. He looked surprised and I told him that the night we hooked up he kept saying he didn't want anything serious and so I thought, cool, I can date two guys for a little bit. I told him that I haven't dated anyone else since mid-December but him.
(side note: I'm not good at dating two guys at a time. It's really emotionally confusing.)
I asked him why he ignored me at Halloween at an art exhibit and he told me that he knew I was interested but he thought I looked like a relationship kinda girl and he wasn't ready for that and still isn't really. We also talked about how we found each other attractive when we first met in June.
We also hit on one of my sore subjects when he referred to a girl at the party as "plump". I told him that it bothers me when he talks about larger girls in that manner and about how he doesn't find them attractive. I pointed out that not a year ago, I was bigger than the 'plump' girl. And hearing him say things like that hurts me a little. Does that mean that he wouldn't have found me attractive last year? I didn't force him to answer that as he was feeling bad enough for making me feel insecure.
We also talked about going on a camping/music weekend thing that happens this Memorial Day weekend. He wasn't going to ask me but the more he thought about it the more he thought he should ask me. I told him that I'd go if he wanted me there but I didn't really want to spend the money. He still wasn't sure himself so this weekend is up in the air.
He brought up that one of the girls told him not to let me get away. He said that he thinks I'm amazing and that he might lose me at any time because he's still trying to figure out his own life and the direction it's heading.
He didn't want to hurt me and I told him that I've always thought of us as temporary since neither of us can commit to the other and to keep me from getting too attached.
He told me that if I found someone else, he would understand.
It was kinda a sad talk about our doomed relationship. But considering the circumstances our only other choice is to stop seeing each other now. But that's the 'rub' we don't want to stop seeing each other right now. Neither of us wants to be alone.
He called after I got home to make sure I arrived safe and sound and to tell me that he was thinking of me. We chatted about finding people that you're sexually compatible with and shared a couple of our horror stories. He told me he would call on Tuesday about this weekend.
Ah, and that my friends, is why I nicknamed him TBD.
