Crews rescue naked man stuck in porta potty

31-year-old man in holding tank; 'first port-a-potty rescue I've ever had'

 Firemen recently had to rescue a naked man who got stuck inside the potty--not just the portable building, folks--but the ACTUAL POTTY! Authorities say the 31-year-old man used his cell phone to call 911 on Sunday from inside a portable toilet.

Police say the man had been drinking and had taken off his clothes. Somehow, he immersed himself in the holding tank.

Deputy fire commissioner Chris Miller told WPMT-TV, "I've been on the job in one form or fashion for 21 years, and this is the first port-a-potty rescue I've ever had."

I can see this happening!  Well, maybe not NAKED and ACTUALLY DOWN IN THE STOOL.  But have you  ever had a fear of the darn door not unlocking when you went into one of those restrooms on a plane?  First of all, I'm claustrophic anyway; then, I'm forced because we're 33,000 feet up and I'm crossing my legs to get up and weave my way to the very smallest space of the plane. 

Those people at Boeing!  Would I like to get my hands on them!! To relieve ourselves, we are forced to incapsulate ourselves inside a 2 by 2 by 2 metal coffin with a lock that would challenger a safecracker. 

Then there's the stool.   I promise you Little Buddy's training potty is bigger.  It sets maybe a foot high!  Don't even think of leisurely pulling down the girdle, the panty hose, and the skin-tight jeans with no problem.  NO LADIES!  I recommend BACKING into the cubicle, because turning around becomes a real challenge with a Barbie sink also thrown into the space.

The clothes must come down in one fluid motion--always count on air turbulence right about now--if you like the pun, go with it!!   Then guiding oneself with the back of the legs, it is necessary to "glide" onto the potty using touch as the keystone!!   I'm quite short, but my knees are doing battle with my chin when I finally get  on the minuscle commode. Then! The biggest surprise of all--flushing. It sounds as though the entire belly of the plane has just opened to send your most personal of body extractions whirling off into space to join the rest of the junk up there! I would have jumped three feet if I could have the first time I flushed that tiny airplane stool.

I often wondered what a man about 6'4" must do!  He would first of all be bent double just to stand up.  With his eyes locked in on his penis because he can't raise his head, he has to try to negotiate hitting that potty ring without a clue exactly where it is.  ?Something akin to pinning the tail on the donkey when blindfolded.   And what if the poor guy has more serious business?  Picture if you can his knees rubbing the ceiling; and I don't have a clue how he would ever get off the thing!! 

And did you read about the woman who thought one of the french fries she was preparing had Jesus on the cross on it?  I wonder if she is related to the guy who got stuck in the toilet bowl?

Well, that's all the "potty mouth" that I can muster today.  Have a great weekend---and STAY AWAY FROM THOSE PORTA POTTIES!