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When I got my divorce, I made up my mind that I would not form any close friendships...that I would make my two daughters my best friends.
I didn't rule out having friends; I just ruled out having CLOSE friends. And I have for the last twenty years adhered to that.Â
However, now, I find myself being pulled into a friendship that I really do not want. But, I feel sorry for this woman because her children totally ignore her.
I discovered after the fact that she spent both Christmas and Thanksgiving alone and that she did not receive a single gift for Christmas. Had I known at the time, I would have invited her to spend Christmas with us.
It has only been in the last two or three weeks that I have begun to put together what is going on with her. I realized early on that she is judgemental and critical of people. In addition, she complains about how ungrateful her children are.
She is also"sick" all the time. She complains that she has terrible pain in her shoulder. She has been in the hospital four times in the last three months. In fact, she is in now. This time she almost killed herself. She was bleeding so badly internally that she had to have surgery. This is the second time she has been in the hospital for a bleeding ulcer.
 I knew she was taking a lot of pain medication and that she insisted that her blood pressure would shoot up when she ran out of her medication. She would insist that someone call an ambulance when her blood pressure went up because she wanted to get to the hospital so she could get some pain meds.
After the first episode with the bleeding ulcer, I asked her how much pain medication she was taking.
It turns out she would take three or four aspirin at a time; wait two hours and take two or three Aleve. On top of that she was taking hydrocodone when she could get it and another medication that she didn't name.
She has also got two cortisone shots in her back and one in her knee in the last two weeks.
A couple of weeks ago, she managed to get her doctor to write her another prescription for hydrocodone. She took three of them in less than two hours.  Then, she told me that the pharmacy shorted her on her prescription.Â
"Â I called them and chewed them out royally for it too," she added.
"Well, how much did they short you?"Â I asked.
When she replied one pill,  my suspicions got even stronger. How many people count their pills? "There's no way I can get it now, I know," she added. "I can't prove that they actually shorted me that pill."
It's has become obvious to me and several others that she is hooked on pain medication. I think this is why her kids avoid her. I'm sure they have known it for some time.
She has begun imposing on me, without asking. The other day, she said that she had to go to the doctor and she needed me to pick her up.
"I'll put gas in for you."Â she said.
Well,l it wasn't the minute amount of gas that it would take to pick her up. It was her assuming that I would pick her up without ever really asking. And I just had that really hard time saying "No".
She also told me that her neighbor next door has been avoiding her. I know that she was imposing on her before I became her ride of choice. (She doesn't have a car but we have bus service. She doesn't like to schedule when the bus runs, so she's always calling someone to pick her up and take her.)
I have GOT to find a way out of this situation without hurting her feelings. She listens for my door to open. When she hears it, out her apartment she comes to tell me her latest woes. Â Any suggestions?
is serious stuff. Tell her that you are just too busy. My life would be
desolate without close friends but none of them are demanding. Friendship
is a give or take thing and she is into all take and no give.