I hope this will be my first and last post on Religion.

Since I posted my previous article (a personal quiz) I have received two e-mails from unknown senders (different addresses but I think they belong to one person). Apparently they didn't like the way I "teased the Sudanese authorities" especially because I'm a Muslim. It is also said that as a Muslim, I should have "stood by our brothers and sisters in Sudan".

Okay, first, I would like to point out that I never talk about my religion or my personal belief in this blog, and I have no idea how this person knows about it. One of the main reasons I don't feel it is necessary to tell everyone I'm a Muslim is simply I DON'T like to be defined by religion. The only label I want to fit in is "human" and so far I am glad I don't expose anything "islamic" here. Let's just say I've learned my lesson.

Another reason is that when you let people know something "significant" or controversial about you they tend to create a double-standard. They tend to misjudge you for that. They think if you're a Muslim you worship Bin Laden and you justify killing people. My religion has become synonymous with terrorism.

But Islam isn't the only word that's been reduced to pejoratives. Muslims (especially extremists) in my country are Ameri-phobics. To them: Americans=Bush. So living in two different worlds, the Internet and the real life out there, I am the majority and the minority at the same time. I understand how hard it is to live under a certain negative judgement.

So here I clarify that I am a Muslim. My whole family are Muslims and I was raised in a religious environment. I studied Arabic when I was little so when I read the Koran I understand the verses.

However, being the "rebel kid" that I am, I tend to question. My biggest disagreement in the Koran is in a verse in 16:126 (will re-check on this later) which translates: "..And if you punish, punish equivalently: an eye for an eye, limb for limb, blood for blood..."
(please note that this is my own translation, and I try to do it the best way I can.)

I was a strong believer in Islam and the Koran before I came across that verse about two years ago. It simply goes way against my personal belief. I lean more towards Gandhi on this: "An eye for an eye makes the world blind".

So there. You have my stance. I don't know what to call a person who is a Muslim but disagrees on one verse of their Holy Book, but that's just me. However, I still pray 5 times a day just like other Muslims. I read the Koran and still feel fascinated by it. I fast in the Ramadans. I do those things simply because I am spiritually obliged to, as if I don't live my life as a whole if I don't pray. So I'm a Muslim because I need to be. I believe in God because I need to be. That may sound weak, but it's the truth.

But I don't share the same opinions with Bin Laden. I don't justify what the Muslim extremists did. I don't support their barbaric stupidity, be it the Danish cartoon reactions, the Muhammad teddy-bear "tragedy" in Sudan, or even the Salman-Rushdie death threats. I am friends with people with different religions, and I have no intention to abolish them or to avoid them because I believe in the value of humanity. And as I stated above, I agree more with Gandhi than with God. These, if not obvious, are the reasons why I don't want to parade around here with the tag "MUSLIM" on my head. I don't represent most of the Muslims in the world. I don't represent the image of Muslims in the western world. But one thing very clear: Not all muslims are terrorists. Not all of them are barbaric idiots. Not all Muslims have clouded their intelligence and conscience by literary interpretations of Jihad.

So how can we define Muslims?
Un-label them. They are, after all, humans. Some are condescending bigots, but a large number of them values humanity. Just like human beings in general.

And that's why I didn't "stand by" my "brothers and sisters" in Sudan, because I did not agree with them. How does naming a teddy-bear "Muhammad" a crime, has never made any sense to me and it never will. In Indonesia, Muhammad/Ahmad is a common name. Three of my uncles are Ahmads. My father is an Ahmad. My cousin's dad's name is Muhammad. God knows there was a horse named Muhammad. I hope this answers the question.

In conclusion, I am a Muslim. I practice Islam though I leave out some parts simply because my heart says "NO". But before you see me as anything else, see me as a human being first.

"I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is"-Albert Camus.

Finally, I'm sorry if my English is a bit confusing (clearly I still have a lot to learn). Have a nice day!