That's what Hubby says every time he sees me painting. I have more paint clothes than I do regular clothes. I'm always painting something. Of course, there is always something needing a coat of paint! But I don't really mind it. With the exception of doing ceilings, particularly the corners where it meets the walls, I love to paint!

Paint helps me establish a place as my own. This is one reason we always buy fixers. I like the process of making decorating decisions. I've never bought a house that was in 'move-in' condition. I'm not sure I'd be comfortable in it if I had one! I enjoy the power of being able to improve upon something.

I think I need that feeling of power. There is so much in my life that I am almost completely powerless over. My mother-in-law is sick here. I have a daughter back home who is mentally ill. My son is currently in jail. Even though he seems to be over his heroin addiction, (almost 2 years sober!), his PO won't let him move on. He gets nailed for every stupid little thing, disrupting everything he's trying to build. He's opting to remain in jail longer this time so that when he gets out he'll be truly free.

My husband is talking about possibly going on anti-depressants. I tell him "of course you're depressed! Who wouldn't be?" Maybe that's not a very helpful thing to say. The truth is, I'm afraid. The prospect of having, or perhaps even acknowledging, that there is one more mentally or emotionally fragile person in my life... well, I think it may be more than I can bear at this moment.

So I paint. Paint makes at least some things better. Paint is something I can do. Paint marks the turning point at which 'out with the old, in with the new' becomes a reality. And even though problems are always going to be there, paint helps me create a haven of peace and harmony for myself and the family that still lives with me. We need that!

CHAOS BE DAMNED!