Many of us have collections of one variety or another. We may have walls, rooms, garages, shelves, or cupboards devoted to our objects of delight. Spouses might joke that our hobby or "obsession" is taking over the whole house. Relatives might also 'hint' that you need to pare it down. You may have real affection or attachments to each and every item, and the prospect of parting with any of it might cause you distress. Does that make you a "hoarder"?

No, not necessarily. Many people live very happily and comfortably with cherished possessions that have been carefully collected or preserved over a period of many years. They may be tokens of who we are, where we've been, or what we value. They might represent our personality, our sense of humor, our artistic sensibilities. These objects may have great value either cumulatively or individually. Perhaps there are good memories or associations attached. Or perhaps they are simply a fun pastime.

Just because a person has a collection that is more extensive than what most people would have does not mean they have a problem with hoarding.

So, where is the line between 'normal collecting' and 'hoarding'? Well, I'm no psychiatrist but I will attempt to illustrate where I think the line is using examples of people I've known and personal experience. It has to do with function, logic, relationships, and ability to use and enjoy what you have.

I have a cousin who is married to a collector. The entire basement of their house is dedicated to electric trains. When we visit, the whole family takes pride in showing off the train setup, which includes a small village, tree covered mountains, and special cubbies for various alternate models not in use. It is all very neat, tidy, and beautiful.

He also collects antique cars and related items such as gas pumps, license plates, old wheels, and whatever he happens upon that resonates with his passion for period vehicles. They have a second garage that houses this array. It is a joy to behold! There is a place for everything and everything is in it's place! both spaces are like a private museum.

Though some wives would not be willing to allocate such a monopoly of space to her husband's hobbies, my cousin is fine with it. Having adequate separate square footage to show and display his cars and trains makes it possible for her husband to do what he loves without impeding the functionality of the rest of the home or family. But it's a 'planned separation'. They bought the house with this purpose in mind.

All the other living areas are clean and clear and devoted to the business of everyday life. It appears that his collecting is an asset to the family. They all appreciate it's uniqueness and have no reservations about sharing it with friends.

I do not consider this man to be a hoarder for the following reasons. He has not disregarded the needs of the other people living in the home. Large spaces were designated by mutual consent. There are distinct boundaries which are consistently honored. There is order, both inside the house, and in the hobby areas. His collections have value, and do not impede functionality of the home or family. It's a source of family pride and enjoyment rather than embarrassment.

In a true hoarding situation budget, space, and boundaries are disregarded regularly. The needs and feelings of loved ones are not sufficiently considered. Items 'hoarded' usually have little value to anyone other than the hoarder. Communal spaces are over-run. Disorganization and disorder abound. Family members suffer shame and embarrassment. They feel powerless as all attempts to resolve problems are thwarted. Anger, blame, and resentments simmer. No one is enjoying it.