I screwed up, in a number of ways. I'm not sure I can fix it. All I can do is acknowledge it and try to take it as a lesson learned. As in other times when things have gone badly, I can't help thinking, 'the more time that passes from this moment forward, the better'. Life will go on.

My daughter in Europe called me yesterday. It was so wonderful to hear from her, and to feel the comfort of being unconditionally loved, accepted, and understood no matter how fallible I might be. To have such a daughter makes me think maybe I didn't do so bad after all as a parent.

She showed me the kind of love I usually strive to show. To be on the receiving end, especially when I'm feeling so down on myself, well, it would be hard to describe how precious this is to me. I think I will do well to remember what this feels like. Part of the lesson learned.

I also had two unexpected events happen that will smooth our financial path, so that made me feel better. I've been renting one of our houses to a friend, who is hard pressed to pay rent every month. She usually works it off, and has been an invaluable asset for me in so many ways. However, now that the work is done, I've had a hard time finding things for her to do.

She's found another place to live, right next door to the daughter who needs her help! It's within her budget, so she should be able to get by OK. Her daughter will also get the support she needs. Also, thanks to her, we've already got a qualified tenant lined up to rent the house she's currently occupying. I can't think of a better outcome!

I also have another qualified applicant ready to sign a lease on my other house. I just need to do a criminal background check. With these two houses gainfully rented, it should plug up the gaping holes in our budget. Hubby can come home! Assuming he can tear himself away from our two children that live there.

I don't know how much involvement we should have. At times, the situation seems so dire, particularly with my son and his girlfriend and baby. I know that they are trying. It does seem that life throws them far more muck than the average couple. I am overwrought with stress just being on the sidelines. Now it's Hubby standing nearby, and it has the same effect on him. I wish this whirlwind would hurry up and pass.