It's not something I'm good at. I'm a dreamer, and a possibility thinker. That's a good thing, right? Not always. As such, I tend to get myself in over my head. And in the stage of life I'm in, it would be hard not to. I have children in various stages of neediness, a house that needs major work, and a mother-in-law that is requiring an increased amount of care and attention.

Truth be told, I'm dropping balls all over the place, which leads to guilt, and self recrimination, and sometimes shut-down. My usual mantra, 'slow and steady wins the race', isn't working for me right now because some things needed to be done YESTERDAY! I'm in a pickle.

I want to do everything that needs to be done, and be everything I need to be, but at this point I'm thinking that maybe that is not possible. Maybe I've taken on more than is reasonable for me to think I can actually do. If I had unlimited time, or physical abilities, I might be able to keep up, but I don't.

In the past year or so I've been trying to ease myself away from people who would over-use me, particularly two of my children, but also a certain sister, and a very good friend. Unfortunately, I see myself, and others see me also, as the one who will come in and save the day. Believe me, I've saved many a day, but I don't see how I can keep doing it and still save my own. Never have I expected anybody to do for me what others expect me to do for them.

I'm sitting here, feeling bad because I chose to work on my own problems this past week instead of MILs. The other people involved in her care are very unhappy with me. I want to crawl under a rock.