Today I was able to feast on my favorite real life dramas, hoarding shows. There were hours and hours of back to back episodes! I give them large amounts of credit for keeping me on task in my own efforts. Seeing these worst case scenarios brings home exactly what is at stake if I don't continue in my quest to overcome what is both a personal issue, and a multi-generational family one.

I've been working on this house for approximately five months now, though not all in one stretch. To continue day after day after day requires a determination that is often hard to muster on my own. I tune in to these shows to remind myself of why I must keep at it, what will happen if I don't. It illustrates so well the mental and emotional complications that arise when people attempt to make changes. Anger, scapegoating, denial, escape, all of these come into play.

I've encountered some complications in our family as the work ensues. There's the "why do I have to be the one to solve this problem?" question. There's also Hubby's feelings of fear and anxiety about what I'm getting rid of as I've pretty much taken over the job in his absence. Even though we've both agreed that living in chaos is extremely detrimental to our mental and physical health, not to mention our daughter's, I do worry that he will freak out when he comes back here to find the majority of his dad's stuff gone. Will he see it as a triumph? A relief? Or a loss.

Happily, the milestones we've crossed in reclaiming what is now the majority of the house has brought some much hoped for dividends. My daughter, who didn't want to be part of the process initially, is now on board. I've understood from the beginning that if it was enough for me to want to have a nervous breakdown, I should just be grateful if she doesn't go off the deep end while I deal with it. In some ways she did, by falling into some pretty sloppy habits. Fortunately nothing major.

She told me she was glad that I didn't nag her. My response was that it was her choice how she chooses to keep her own room, but that I didn't understand why she wouldn't WANT to keep it nice. I do this because I WANT it, which is the best reason of all.

It did not escape her notice that I was putting my money where my mouth was as the house was slowly going from 100% chaos to about 20% chaos, (not counting the garage, which will be dealt with soon!) In just the last week or so she has decided of her own accord to put forth more effort. She's been keeping her own room cleaner, keeping the bathroom up, doing her laundry, and generally doing better at picking up after herself!

And she's proud of herself! I'm proud too, of both of us, even though we have a ways to go. Anyway, the hoarding shows help motivate me. By tomorrow I'll be ready to go again!