I didn't sleep well last night. My brain was consumed by thoughts... would work approve the time off for my cousins funeral? Would I have to come in over the weekend? Will I be ok traveling with my aunt and cousin who I don't ever see even though they live close by? Can I handle not smoking in their car for 3 1/2 hours when I am stressed and want to smoke more than anything? Should I drag R to this?

Ugs. Brains. They need a shut off switch!

I still am undecided on having R go up with me. I am thinking if he does come, he'll drive and we can smoke freely. Strange that it's all about the smoking isn't it? But then I think - why drag him through all that?

The man is sweet as anything though. He told work if he's not in by 9:30 he won't be in cuz he's with me. That gives me more time to decide.

Decisions are not my forte. At least I know I am going to the funeral. I just don't know how I will get there...

Happy Thursday peeps!