I have been thinking about things in my life lately. I have been working on a budget for myself trying to figure out how I can possibly drop down to two lower paying part time jobs. It’s not working out as I’d like, but I am sticking with trying to figure it out. This led me to think about what I could live without.

In August, my "rent" to my dad for the mortgage will go up. R insists that he can’t pay any more than he already is in rent, and I have to respect that with his humongous mortgage that he’s carrying right now. But that leaves me paying a $300 more a month in rent than him which isn't fun. I have made up for some of this by asking him to pay a couple other bills to which he agreed. It's still not equal, but it is 'my' condo so I guess it's all good, and I don’t think that if I got someone off the street that they would pay any more than he is.

Anywho! My point is that I have noticed that recently I am spending more. This always comes (with me) when I am losing weight because I want to buy fabulous (sale item) new clothes that fit my smaller frame. Granted I am not much smaller, but it’s fun to have new things which to me kind of makes my success that much better. Could I live without these things? Sure. Do I want to? No. I also spend money on dog treats and toys more often than I should, but I like for the boys to have new and fun things. Could I live without doing this? Sure. Do I want to? Not really. I also like to go out to lunch and dinner with friends. Could I live without that? Indeed. Do I want to? Hells no.

One thing I really don’t think I could live without is paying off my credit cards. That’s a biggie. If I stopped paying them down so much I think it would be much easier to swing this idea, but I have paid off one credit card, my student loan and my car within the past year and it’s been fabulous. I am one (large) payment away from yet another one being paid off which leaves me with only one more outstanding debt. THAT my friends is exciting. So it’s just another thing to ponder... I think I can have this next one paid off in two years if I pay double the interest, but if I keep my income where it is right now I could have it possibly paid off in less than a year and a half.

So I guess it comes down to a decision. Would it be fantabulous to be able to have it all? Yes. Does that happen to people very often? No. So it’s a decision to make. I can cut back on EVERYTHING including R taking me out to dinner and for drinks and possibly work two part time jobs, or I can suffer through and keep my lifestyle the way it is, which aside from hating the day job and hating having to work full and part time it’s not so bad. Although working is the majority of my life right now which is a bummer peeps.

I could also quit the part time gig, but I don’t want to do that because I actually don’t mind it. It’s a challenge and I still doubt myself sometimes, but it’s something that I like doing... and I love watching owners and their dogs have successes, because I am telling you the most common thing I hear is "My dog will NEVER do that" and then I see the owners have success. It’s a beautiful thing.

I’m not really sure what this ramble was supposed to accomplish but I guess it boils down to either making a rather large lifestyle change or sticking with it til I get out of this area and then start anew with all new possibilities. Can I make it another year? Probably. Do I want to? No. hahaha Ah, what do I know.

Happy Tuesday peeps!