Of course, the thing with Barney is that those catchy little tunes he sings to teach children have an unfortunate and annoying tendency to get stuck in the heads of the parents forced to listen to them all day, every day. I have a terrible mash up of some dance song the girls begged me to listen to in the car and “let’s make this happiest Halloween! Treats and games and make believe! We’ll have some fun while the moon shines bright. It’s Halloween night tonight!” going around and around in my head. Annoying is an understatement and the truly messed up thing is that I can’t tell which one is worse… the dance tune (I believe it was a techno re-mix of a Jonas Brothers song) or the Barney song. This is the sad little life that I lead.

It was a good day today. So often I find myself blogging when I am in a shitty fucking mood (FYI: I swear. A lot. In fact, I swear more in real life than I do in my blogs. And I know it’s an unsavoury habit but allow me that one vice, okay? And chocolate. I would like to be allowed chocolate). But tonight, I am in a good mood, having had a good Saturday with my three kidlets. Drama still abounds…a sea of it, really, as far as the eye can see…but I’m tabling it. For now at least. Because I want to enjoy my good mood and my relatively mellow state, at least for tonight.

Now I’m scared I jinxed it.

Troy royally fucked my kids last night. I am refusing to say (or write) “our” kids at the moment because he wasn’t treating any of them like they were his and that makes them MINE, at least for the moment. It’s a long and boring and drama filled story so I’ll spare you, for once and just leave it at that. He fucked and hurt my kids. Both of my girls went to bed crying because of him. I spent forty minutes giving them a pep talk, of sorts, because of him and I got them calmed down…which had to be done because of him. Sigh. And then I had to have yet * another * long and drama filled conversation with him for another forty minutes after I got the girls calmed down and feeling loved again. As usual with Troy, the conversation didn’t have a happy ending and was left open ended which I * hate * because it means another long and drama filled conversation the next time I see him.

Didn’t I start this post off by saying I was in a good mood? I’m going to shut up about last night now, I swear to Dog.

This morning (oh shit…I can’t help it…sorry guys…)

Why does he have to act like a fucking asshole after I’ve already had one of the longest days, driving to CHEO (which is two hours away, by the way) and the OT assessment and the drive home and the thoughts going a mile a minute, etc.? Why? Of all the nights when I could have used someone holding my hand…or hell…holding me…and just listening to me and he had to start the shit storm. Again! Thank goodness for all of you, eh? No, seriously…thank YOU.

Okay. I’m honestly going to put this post back on the positive.

I woke up this morning to Julian asking me, over and over and over again, to please fix the mousetrap. (Have I mentioned that mouse traps are second only to fire extinguishers for my guy? He loves mouse traps. I have no idea why. But he likes looking at them, checking for peanut butter, looking at pictures of them on the Internet and when he’s relaxing or wanting to chill out, he will say, and I quote, “I just want to sit and stare at my mouse trap”). I was half asleep during this pestering as the sun had yet to rise. I woke up after a few minutes of the repeated question enough to realize that if he was asking me to fix the mousetrap it could only mean one thing…

We got another mouse.

I hope…really, really hope…that it is the last one for a while. I know it’s the shift in weather and the fact that the fields surrounding my home were just harvested of their soybean. I miss the corn. The last two years the farmers who own the fields around us planted corn and we had far fewer mice but a lot more bears. Bears I don’t mind. And free corn I mind even less. Now the mice that inhabited the soybean are displaced little fuckers who are also cold. And I’m getting sick of them taking up residence in my kitchen.

A cat is sounding better and better. Either that or a husband. Someone to change the mousetraps and put fires on (it is some kind of cold here, let me tell you!) and take out the trash.

But I digress.

My Mom had offered to meet the kids and I at the mall this morning so that I could take the girls to get their winter hats and some gloves. This might not seem like such a big deal, but it was. Her offer to stay with Julian and walk around the mall, searching for fire extinguishers and other points of interest for him, meant that I could take the girls to a jewellery and accessory store that they love but that is also off limits because Julian freaks out when he is forced to enter it (too much visual stimuli, I believe as well as some thumping music that causes him to cover his ears and shout, “STOP! STOP! STOP!” repeatedly).

So that’s where we headed. I think it was really the kick start our good day needed because it got us out of the house a bit earlier than usual with a clear purpose and it set the mood, which all four of us needed, especially my girls.

After the hats and gloves (* so * cute, by the way…I even got one for myself since I don’t have a winter hat), Erica decided that she was being ripped off, spending time with me when clearly Julian and my Mom were having more fun with those 25 cent machines and broke away, leaving Olivia and I to ourselves in the land of all things good… the dollar store.

It was bliss, I tell ya, bliss.

Olivia and I * never * get time alone together. And we had a blast roaming up and down every aisle, finding these cool Christmas-y containers to put baking in and some even cooler word mirrors and browsing around, getting ideas for our homemade Christmas gifts to family.

Olivia is my “good” kid. I know that’s terrible to say, but there’s no other way to say it and no, I don’t mean to call Julian or Erica “bad”…it’s not even a comparison. It’s just that Olivia is really, really good. She has never been the kind of kid who asks for stuff when we’re out and from the age of two, possibly earlier, has always been able to choose “just one thing”, never putting up a fight when told to put something back. So, going into any store with her, especially the dollar store where so many tantrums seem to start, is a real treat for me. For both of us, I guess.

I spent six dollars on these plaster of Paris moulds that we will use for Christmas presents. The kids will put their handprints in them and then decorate them with beads and jewels and such.

I spent another six dollars on chalkboards for each of the kids. They were worth it. More than worth it. They all came with chalk and an eraser. They are small enough that they can be carried around or propped up but big enough to really use. And all three of my kids LOVE chalk boards and playing school (well, Julian doesn’t love that part… he tends to just draw lines and circles over and over again while making this strange, monotone sound) and while I could have just purchased one chalk board and given it to them to share, I didn’t. I splurged and bought them each one. I could have saved them for Christmas but I didn’t. I let them have the chalkboards right away and let me tell you.

For six dollars, I bought some peace and quiet.

We came home and all three of them got right to it and were at it all afternoon, happily playing and not fighting allowing me some time to do laundry and make lunch and pee in peace and even have a phone conversation.

Six bucks! Best six bucks I ever spent.

We went back into town later in the day to rent a movie for our ritual Saturday night movie night together (we got Marmaduke. I am officially the most patient mother in all the land) and pick up a few snacks and some dinner (it is also our tradition to eat Subway before the movie night because Subway is just about the cheapest dinner you can buy). We also braved Zellers because Julian desperately needed winter boots. His snowsuit from last year still fits and can be used but his boots didn’t make it. I figured that if I let him choose a pair with characters on them, he might be more inclined to wear them. He chose Thomas the Tank Engine. They are relatively easy to get on and off, very important for Julian because he likes doing things for himself but is also a severe perfectionist and if he can’t do it “right” he either freaks out and gives up or just gives up. They weren’t cheap…not at all…but since I didn’t have to buy him a new snowsuit I figured it all evened out.

I also found and bought another set of fleece sheets. I love fleece sheets. They are the best thing in the winter, hands down. They kick the ass out of flannel. And they were half price. I’m thinking I might go back and get another set so that I have a total of four sets which will be enough for both Julian and I as we both have double beds.

And then it was home again to eat our subs and watch our movie. I sat in my eight dollar chair from Value Village with Erica laying against me, wrapped up in her own fleece sheet from her bed and Julian vegging on the couch with his Barney pillow and Olivia sitting on the edge of the bed, sort of stroking Julian’s leg, hesitantly and constantly checking to see if he noticed the touch and was tolerating the touch and I felt so good. I felt loved. And I felt I was love (boy, that sounded corny…but it was true).

Last night kick started what could have been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad weekend. But I pulled it together. * We * pulled it together.

And it was a good day.