There is nothing like a quiet Saturday, alone.

It is remarkably warm for September and all of the windows in my house are open, letting in a warm, gentle breeze that smells like smoke and grass and something indistinguishable and yet completely *autumn*. Mixed with that is the sweet, garlic-y smell of tomatoes from Dirk's garden stewing in the crock pot.

The kids are gone until later this afternoon. I passed on a date with Dirk last night and chose instead to spend the night alone in my silent house. At first it felt like a funk that I had stumbled into but after a few hours of silent reading, I realized that I just needed to "be". Sounds corny, I know. But after a busier than normal week, with some distinct ups and dramatic lows, all I had energy for was buying myself some new, warm pajamas and a few episodes of Big Love on DVD that I bought at Blockbuster for next to nothing last week.

So that's what I did.

I curled up in my bed, in my new jammies with a bowl of frozen yogurt and a mug of hot chocolate and I watched Big Love for the tenth time (I really love that show and highly recommend you checking it out if you haven't already) until my eyes were drooping.

I slept in. Way, way in. I rarely do that and let me tell you, it felt good. I spent the morning talking myself into leaving the house and doing laundry and changing sheets on the beds. I also spent a fair bit of time sitting on my deck and looking at the changing leaves of the trees in my backyard. I wish that you could see my back yard. Maybe I'll take a picture of it some day.

You have probably noticed an increase in my typos as of late. It's the sticking keys on my laptop. I am forever having to re-write a sentence. Very annoying and I apologize for the the inevitable annoyance of reading something that has missing letters and bad ass grammar.

Julian got into an altercation at nursery school on Thursday. I haven't written about it until now because I still haven't fully digested it and still have no idea what to do about it.

Basically, another child sat on top of Julian (parents are often at Jay's Place with their children. This little boy's mother was present but she wasn't watching him which is very, very characteristic of her. It is not uncommon for this little guy to get into trouble because she is too busy drinking coffee and yakking with another mother to watch what he is doing and when she does catch him or is informed of his bad behaviour, she does little to discipline him).

I looked over from my spot on the mat with another little girl (we were playing with and tidying up a pile of wooden puzzles that had been dumped out by the aforementioned mother) and saw Julian pinned underneath the litle boy whom I will call Connor. Julian had this awful, creepy look on his face which I recognized immediately because I have seen it before and believe me, it never means good things are about to happen.

I jumped up and bolted across the floor to where the boys were. In that time, Connor managed to hit Julian on the head with a plastic hammer. Once, twice, three times.

Conner's Mom was sitting behind me but paid no attention.

Here is what you must know about Julian.

He is not like other children.

He will not cry out for me.

He will not run to me for comfort.

He will attack.

And that's what he attempted to do.

Thankfully I was able to remove the plastic hammer from his grip in time. I picked him up (Conner's Mom was still oblivious) and carried him away, kicking and screaming.

Of course we had to leave.

He screamed all the way home.

He wanted to attack.

What surprised me most was my own anger. We had to leave because of Julian but also because of me. I knew that if I stayed I would have said more than a few things I couldn't take back.

I'm not sure what to do but I have until Tuesday to decide. Jay's Place has called me but I was out and they didn't leave a message.

I've needed time to cool down.

Julian has needed Tylenol for his hurt body.

Now just to figure out how to proceed...